


More Than I Deserve

by CrystalJade



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Hurt Steve McGarrett, Jealous Eliot Spencer, M/M, Marriage Proposal, McDanno in the end, Misunderstandings, Pining, Pining Steve McGarrett, Possessive Eliot Spencer, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slash, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:46:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalJade/pseuds/CrystalJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot’s presence only provided the catalyst needed to make Steve confront his own feelings.<br/>Unfortunately, the annoyingly honorable Danny turned down Steve in favor of his boyfriend. Sort of.</p><p>"He wins your love not because he's better than me, only because you have been biased towards him all the time. He has your heart from the start."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Making Circles

**Author's Note:**

> Actually this is the first one I wrote. But while I was working on it, the plots of Amnesia got into my head and refused to go away. Then I finished that one first. 
> 
> *I always take a cruel pleasure in watching Steve pine for Danny. -_-# (I don't feel guilty about it.) 
> 
> So I feel I need to get Danny a boyfriend who is great at everything that Steve is excellent in. And make Steve understand he can't stand the thought of a future without Danny in it. 
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> Don't own the boys. They belong to each other.

Well our love story reads like a book of lies-  
Good intentions, better alibis  
No happy endings, no straight lines, no movin' on,  
But no goodbyes.  
This bittersweet revelry will be the death of me.  
We go round and round, tryin' to work it out  
And all I get is hell bent and bound  
Never far from right where we are.  
And you'd think we'd get enough  
And know we're gonna fuck it up,  
We're holdin' on, sinkin' down,  
Here we go around and around...  
Making circles...  
Making circles...  
            Lyrics of Making Circles by Christian Kane

When Danny woke up, he got a little disoriented at first, then he realized that he was in Steve’s bed. Alone. Steve was not here. The other side of the bed was cold and empty; the sheets were stiff. His skin felt sensitive against them. His throat was dry and he felt he’d swallowed sand. He got a horrible headache lurking in the back of his head. But one thing made his headache worse was that he was alone. He had no idea where Steve was and he was not sure he wanted to know the reason he had been left in a bed by himself, especially in his best friend's bed. And if he'd been honest with himself, he'd admitted long ago that Steve had become more than his partner and best friend he'd ever had. He'd had feelings for this person for a long time. Sometimes he thought Steve felt the same. But there were always some (unfortunate) things which had happened at the wrong times and there were always some people who showed up the exact moment Danny thought him and Steve might have a thing.

Danny grabbed his phone from the nightstand beside the bed and it was already past eight am. Apparently he’d be late for work. Maybe Steve had just went to work, he thought to himself. Maybe there was nothing wrong. Nothing bad had happened between them. Or he just said something stupid and pissed Steve off. But it didn’t make any sense. He tried very hard not to freak out. He needed to concentrate right now and …

And he groaned, his head pounding, as memories for the night before filtered through his brain. It started coming back to Danny, in full color.

*

He was enjoying his crime-free night, debating with himself whether to drink some beer and watch some stupid unrealistic TV show when he got a message from Steve.

**Missed u Danno. Still ur favorite?**

What the fuck? This was weird. There had been tension between them for a while, even before Catherine came back and then abandoned Steve again. It just got worse after that. They went to see a shrink for weeks (not by choice, of course) and they even took a couples’ therapy for a whole fucking weekend. They held hands a lot of times (which was silly but made Danny’s heart flip all the same); they shared their so-called real feelings with a group of troubled couples; they shut their mouth up and listened as instructed when the other was talking and they worked on the trust issues in which secession one stupid Steve thought he had an excellent idea and got Danny injured. Yep, got Danny injured during a couples' therapy! When they were not at work, Steve'd still be able to find a way to get him injured. How wonderful his life was! And the only thing made his life more miserable was that it seemed nothing worked. Every person close to them was aware that there was something wrong between the two of them. They didn’t act like themselves. Steve just took it out on Danny, while Danny took every goddamned thing thrown at his face. He knew it was not right and their relationship was not balanced like it had been before. He understood Steve was angry and had went through so much recently, but he had his fair share on his plate. No one’s life was easy and they used to support each other. But now? They were more self-destructive than ever and it seemed they were sabotaging their relationship deliberately.

Then he heard his phone bing again.

**Never mind.**

Danny sighed. It was really a bad thing that an emotionally-stunted Steve sent some emotional text and then regretted doing that. Danny knew Steve too well. He knew Steve hated to be vulnerable and showing emotions meant being weak to this Super SEAL. If he let Steve pull back now, he would never open up again. That would guarantee the disaster. So he sent a message back.

**I’m coming over. Be there in 15.**

**You don’t have to.**

**I want to. Just wait for me.**

When he arrived, he let himself into the house without knocking as usual and found Steve was out in the lanai. There were several empty beer bottles at his feet.

“Steve?” He called.

Steve turned around, looking pale and sadder. He felt bad to see Steve heartbroken. Steve was hurting which made him feel hurting too. His friend did nothing wrong to deserve this shit. And he was not a good friend lately. He had taken an easy way out, rather than addressing himself with his full abilities to the issues between them.

Seeing his friend’s eyes red even in the dim light made Danny’s heart clenched. He walked towards him, reached out his hands and landed on his friend’s arms. “What happened?” He asked quietly.

“Danno?” Steve mumbled. He sounded like he couldn’t believe that Danny would be there, if anywhere. Then he raised his arms tentatively, and only after he was sure Danny was real and would not back away from him, he wrapped his arms around Danny and pulled him closer. He lowered his head, murmured against Danny’s ear, “I missed you so much. Danno.”

Danny hesitated a little and then slid his arms around Steve’s waist. “I’m here, babe.”

“You are mad at me. I understand. I have been such an asshole. I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you,” Steve mumbled between sobs. “Please. Don’t leave me, Danno.”

“Shhh… I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.” He held Steve a little tighter to assure him and got very angry at everyone who had left this man and hurt him in a way worse than any torture he had endured.

“Don - don’t go,” Steve stammered. He stopped sobbing but looked paler and devastated. “My head hurts.”

“I won’t go.” Danny stroked his back. “Let’s get you upstairs. You need some rest.”

Danny let Steve lean his weight on him and led him into his bedroom.

“Stay here,” Steve pleaded and patted the bed beside him while Danny put him on the bed and tucked him in. “I can’t sleep. I'm so scared that when I wake up, everyone would have left me. Just like in the dreams. People died. People left. I was alone in the world.” He gripped Danny’s hand and didn’t let it go.

Danny knew this was a bad idea. He knew Steve was drunk and would regret it in the morning. But he just didn’t have the heart to leave Steve like this. He was quite positive that the closeness with Steve, even only one night, would get him longing for more. He couldn’t afford such a risk. But seeing Steve being vulnerable and clingy to him made it hard to form any reasonable thought. He knew he couldn’t deny Steve anything. He gave in and climbed into the bed, lying beside Steve.

Steve curled up like a little boy. Danny looked at him and sighed, pulling the sheet up to cover them. Steve scooted a little and snuggled up against Danny. He draped one arm over Danny’s chest and entwined their legs. He held Danny tight as if he dreaded that Danny would vanish into thin air.

“Babe, have some rest. I won’t leave you.” Danny landed a soft kiss on his forehead and closed his own eyes, trying to ignore the knot in his heart and catch some sleep. Steve purred contentedly and drifted off at once.

They were dressed, but somehow Danny could still feel the heat emit from Steve’s body. Steve snuggled up to his side, his breath slow and even. Before long, Danny followed Steve and fell asleep.

At some point in the night, Steve got agitated. Danny woke up and felt Steve’s temperature a little warm.

“Babe. Are you alright? You got a little warm.” Danny nudged Steve gently.

Steve jolted up in the bed, looking lost and startled. “Danno? You still here?” Danny grimaced at Steve’s unsure voice.

“Bad dream?” He asked, running his hand up and down Steve’s arm.

"I - I dreamed that you left me." Steve looked away from him, avoiding any eye contact. "No matter how I pleaded with you, you wouldn't come back with me."

“Babe, I want - I need you to understand that I won’t leave you for the world. You hear me?” Danny put his hands on Steve’s cheeks and made him look into his own eyes.

“Okay,” Steve said unconvincingly.

Danny decided to let it slide this time. “How's your head? Do you need aspirin? You got a little warm.”

“Don’t worry, Danno. Some sleep will be enough.” Steve paused. “Feeling a little sweaty though, need to take off those clothes.” Steve mumbled to himself. After shedding his shirt and jeans, Steve lay down again and nestled against him. “Feel comfortable beside you.”

“Okay. Go get some sleep.” He rearranged himself a little and let Steve settle in a more comfortable position, trying hard to resist the urge to run his hands over Steve’s bare chest and touch those stupid inks. It drove him mad.

Before Danny could think too much about what had happened this night, Steve already fell asleep. Danny kept still and tried not to disturb his friend. He just stared at the ceiling and listened to Steve’s breath. He didn’t even know when he closed his eyes.

*  
  
Steve woke up at dawn. He wasn’t imagining things. He could feel Danny’s warm body through the few layers of clothes which were still between them. Danny was in his bed, sleeping soundly and curling up against him. His shirt was rumpled up, revealing a tempting area of his skin. Steve had to physically restrain himself from touching Danny. God knows he wanted to do that more than anything in his life. Danny was so close, yet he felt he was out of his reach. He tried really hard not to think about how he was feeling. But those feelings refused to go away.

He may have felt safe with Catherine, but it was not because he loved her. In fact the reverse was true, he must confess. Far from being deeply in love with Catherine, he felt safe only because he wouldn’t get hurt when he was with someone he wasn’t in love with. He had thought Cath was enough. He didn’t care she had left him in the mire and came back to him after a whole year with no explanation. He didn’t care what she had done and where she had been during the year they hadn’t had any contact at all. He thought they may have something enough for him to settle down with her, to be over Danny, but only after she left him again, right before he’d propose to her, he realized that they’d never have a future. Because he wasn’t as sad as people thought he should be. He felt upset and lost for the fact that people in his life kept leaving him. But he was definitely not devastated the way people lost their love would be, which made he realize that Catherine would never be enough for him.

He really thought he would get over Danny one day. He just never considered the possibility that this particular day may never come. He’d be pining for his partner and best friend from afar forever and he’d have to try everything he could to make sure Danny would be happy without the knowledge of his feelings.

That was the way it always went. Steve did something normal people never did - as Danny had pointed out many times before. He’d convinced Danny to enter a relationship with Amber while he went out and dated different women to prove to his partner and himself that there was nothing overly special between them.

It was just fucking hard for Steve to work with Danny every fucking day and could not hold this man tight. It was killing him. And waking up to this said man’s peaceful face did not help the situation at all.

Danny looked younger when he was asleep. The past few months had been difficult for him. Steve had been tied down by the necessity of hiding his feelings for Danny and his troubling past to do something about it. He felt they had been straying away from each other, but had no idea how to fix it.

And now the last thing Danny needed was another burden in his life, namely Steve. Besides, he had Amber. The only thing Steve could do for Danny was to spare him this complicated situation. So he forced himself to disentangle from his partner’s embrace and slipped out of the bed to save his partner from the embarrassment. When he got into his office, he kept himself super busy to avoid thinking about the warm body in his bed.

 


	2. Thinking of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A guy from Danny’s past showed up and Steve felt threatened.

Well, I know they say all good things  
Must come to some kind of ending  
We were so damn good  
I guess we never stood a chance  
Go on and find what you've been missing  
And when that highway's tired of listening  
You'll see I'm not that easy  
To forget  
And when a new moon shines through your window  
Or you hear a sad song on the radio  
And you don't know why, but you just start  
To cry

Oh, you're driving 'round on a sunny day  
And out of nowhere comes the pouring rain  
And a memory hits you right out of the blue  
That's just me thinking of you  
I'm not goin' to try to stop you  
Doesn't mean that I don't want to  
If I know you, you've already  
Made up your mind  
So go on and go if you're really leaving  
Put a million miles between us  
But you'll still feel me  
Like I'm right there at your side  
And when a new moon shines through your window  
Or you hear a sad song on the radio  
And you don't know why, but you just start  
To cry

          Lyrics of Thinking of You by Christian Kane

 

Sitting in his car outside the building, Danny hadn’t pick up the nerve to face Steve. He understood nothing had happened yesterday, and assuming Steve might need him the same way was just a wishful yet pathetic thinking on his part. What he needed to do now was to walk into the office and assure his partner that nothing changed and they were still friends, just friends. He was afraid of seeing the relief in Steve's eyes that indicated Steve thought he just avoided an embarrassment of having to turn down his partner or the risk of pulling apart the team.

"Such a fool you are, Danny," he thought to himself. "You only add to your own pain.”

*

Danny knocked on the door to Steve’s office and poked his head in. Steve was busy typing something on to his computer, or he looked like he was doing that. Since when had Steve had paperwork or anything to do with typing? Steve was engrossed in looking at  
the computer screen, as if the entire world’s safety relied on the typing he was doing.

“Danny, what do you want?”

Of course Steve knew it was Danny without even looking up. Danny had a sudden feeling that he had been waiting for him. But was it a good sign or bad?

“Um, I just wanna make sure you’re ok. You didn’t look good last night. I mean, that’s what friends do, right?” Danny’s voice was full of anxiety.

For some reason unbeknown to Danny, Steve got angry at what he just said. “I don’t need this what-friends-would-do kind of thing. I can take care of myself. I have been doing that successfully for more than 30 years without you as a friend looking out for me. Just don’t focus your life on me. Go out and have fun, hang out with people.”

Danny was shellshocked. It took a whole minute for him to response. “Fine. I’ll make sure I’ll never do that again.” He couldn't bring himself to say anything else.

“That’s great. I have a lunch date. I gotta run.” Steve stood up abruptly and strode out of the office, leaving Danny reeling from what just happened.

*

“You knew that’s what would happen. Pull yourself together.” Danny scolded himself. He sat in his office after the little talk with Steve. He told himself he wouldn’t cry, but tears pricked his eyes.

He knew his heart would shatter when he’d hear it. But he had no idea that one’s heart could ache this much. He was tired, tired of waiting, tired of being pushed away every time, tired of being so vulnerable. He wanted a simple life, even it was not his happy life. He had years and years ahead of him. He had to move on. If he would not have Steve the way he wanted, he’d rather have Steve in his life as his partner and friend. He couldn’t stand the thought of living without Steve in his life. But first, he needed to learn how to shelter his heart, build walls around it, and never allow it to be exposed to the tender feelings.

Danny knew he had to do it. Otherwise how would he be able to keep Steve in one piece if he’d no longer be in his life and on the job with him?

It hurt like hell. But it would become bearable, eventually. Danny had learnt that time had a way of softening life's blow. He would survive that.

*

Steve stormed out of the building, dwelling on what Danny had said.

That was what friends did. Steve told himself Danny came to his home and took care of him only because Danny was such a good decent guy, he wouldn't let a friend mope alone. He had done something what he felt a friend needed to do. But Steve didn’t like the idea that Danny felt obliged to care for him. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want that.

Steve knew he shouldn't feel angry about that. But he had never been good at dealing with these feelings regarding Danny. He had been out of touch with this kind of feelings. And nobody taught him before. Considering the kind of family and relationships he had had before, it couldn't count as a surprise that he had no idea how to deal with his feelings. But he was trying to understand them, while all he could do was keeping those feelings close to himself. He had been doing that for a long while, he saw no reason to stop doing that right now. Danny didn’t need to know. At least he didn’t need to know until Steve sorted out all these things.

*  
  
After a lengthy lunch with his imaginary date, Steve still felt the weight sitting on his chest like a bag of rocks. He tried to figure out why his heart ached so much at seeing the hurt look on Danny’s face.

Danny always said he did not think. Well, now he was pretty sure Danny was not right about that. Because he was halfway to an emotional breakdown from thinking too much.

*

When he came back for work and got into the building, he was still lost in his thoughts and hadn't registered this guy’s presence at the entrance to Five-O HQ until he was near to him. This man was slightly shorter than him, but was solidly built. Steve noticed how this guy moved, when he started walking into the bullpen - he had been trained. Steve furrowed his brow at this. Definitely not a SEAL. Maybe in the Army?

“How can I help you?” Steve asked curtly from behind.

The guy turned around. “Nay, you can’t, actually,” he spoke with a southern drawl.

Steve got a good look at him. He was a good-looking man with a chiseled face, brown eyes and long curly brown hair, and he was military trained for sure. Steve didn’t like him at all. Maybe he was here without good intention. Five-O got many enemies after all. Steve considered the possibility of taking this man down without bringing too much damage to the tech-table. Chin would kill him slowly and painfully if he destroyed this expansive tech-table.

“Eliot! Is that you? Why are you here?” Danny’s excited voice came over, a dazzling smile on his face. It made Steve’s stomach clench uncomfortably. Someone else put that smile on his partner's face when Steve had just left Danny with a hurt look hours ago. All he could think about was to wipe that smile off Danny's face. He should be the only one who could make Danny smile genuinely, except Grace and Charlie of course. Was he?  
  
The way Danny was beaming at this dashing guy was just disturbing. Steve found it very irritating and felt he disliked this man more than one minute ago.

“I’m here for you, Danny.” This man walked over to Danny, pulled Danny into his arms and kissed him hard on the lips.

Kono and Chin gaped at what just happened in front of them. Steve bit back a growl and tried to ignore the way his chest felt a little too tight as he noticed Danny didn't fight it. Danny's soft lips... Steve imagined what it would be like to press their lips together, to feel Danny's mouth and tongue. Danny must be a great kisser with those soft lips. He stamped that thought down hard.

Danny laughed into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around Eliot’s waist.

Steve clenched his fists, strode over to them and asked as causally as he could, “would you mind introducing this gentleman to us, Danno?” He'd never admit he called his partner Danno on purpose this time. He did not, did he?

Danny pulled himself out of this man's embrace, face flushing. “Guys, this is Eliot Spencer. Eliot, my co-workers and friends here.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you guys and thanks for taking care of Danny.” Eliot greeted everyone with a smirk and his teasing had a flirtatious tone.

Danny rolled his eyes and protested a little, but still had that stupid smile on his face. Steve was glaring at them, wondering whether Danny would get mad at him if he just punched this man in the face. He was really thinking about doing that right now.

“Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett, the head of Five-O.” Steve gritted through his teeth.

The man looked back at him, as if he saw no reason to give Steve more attention than he gave the others. He was not flinching, totally unfazed, and definitely amused by Steve's attempt at intimidating him. “I take it that you are Danny’s boss. I’m his old friend.” He drawled slowly. The emphasis on the last two words made Steve stomach twist somehow.

“An old friend?” Kono's tone was all innocent. "What kind of old friend?" She smiled wickedly at Danny.

“We went back a long way.” Eliot smirked. And Steve was not sure if Danny flushed a little more at these words.

“Do we need to leave you two alone?” Steve asked darkly.

“Nah.” Eliot turned to Danny, and said in earnest, “I’m here to invite you and your friends to my restaurant tonight.”

“You have a restaurant on this island?” Danny asked incredulously.

“Yep. I opened it two months ago. Now everything is going smoothly, I figure it’s time to make my appearance.” Eliot looked Danny in his eyes, affection written over his face.

“How that got me involved?” Danny rolled his eyes dramatically.  
  
“I was always thinking about settling down and spending the rest of my life with the person I love. So here I am.” Steve’s eyes narrowed at this hint. And for a second he was afraid he’d lose control and slam his palm into this man’s face. He might have a chance to do it quickly before he’d fight back.

If Danny was surprised by the words, he didn’t show any sign of it. He just shook his head and smiled. “You are not serious, are you?”

“I’m not pushing you on this matter, and don’t need you to give me your answer right now. I came here to invite you and your teammates to have some fun tonight. Here’s the invitation card. Show this to the manager, he’ll find you a nice table.” He planted a kiss on Danny’s forehead and hugged him a little longer than necessary. Then he pulled back and gave them a nod, “I’d love to see you all tonight.” He handed Danny the card and walked towards the door.

Steve stood there still, glowering at the man. Before he walked out of the door, he turned his head and smiled smugly at Steve. If anything, that smile was challenging. Steve clenched his fists again and willed himself not to run after him. If his glare could burn a hole, that man would have been burnt to ash by now. Steve’s heart was hammering with all kinds of emotion that he couldn’t put a name to. He felt he was boiling with anger and jealousy and this was not good for his sanity.  
  
*

“Danny! It says all drink and food are on the house!” Kono declared excitedly.

“What?” Danny grabbed the card and scrutinized it himself.

“Here.” Kono pointed to a line of neatly handwritten words on the invitation card.

“That’s a surprise.” Danny stared at it unsure what else he should say.

“Brah, that man’s got it bad for you.” Kono grinned at him knowingly.

Danny was still studying the card thoughtfully when he heard Steve’s stiff voice. “Danny, my office. Now.”

He looked up from the card confusedly. “What’s for?”

“You want to do it here, Danny?” The idea of Danny going out with another man didn’t appeal to Steve in the slightest. He couldn’t believe Danny would do that to him. To Amber, he corrected himself.

“What’s wrong with you?” Danny snapped. He glared at Steve who was the one told him he’d go on a date and asked Danny to go out and have fun and not to hang on to him as if everything he said last night didn’t count at all.

“What’s wrong with me? That man was hitting on you.” Steve felt like he may explode inside. How could Danny let that man hit on him? How could he?

“Thank you for the clarification. So?” Danny hissed and tried to understand Steve’s anger.

“So? Are you going to cheat on Amber?” Steve asked darkly, unaware of the shocked looks of his colleagues.

“I am what?” Danny couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“You heard me.”

“We broke up. Several weeks ago.” Danny tried to keep calm. He really tried. But he just couldn't stay here and face Steve right now. That was great. He didn't even know you had broken up with your girlfriend because of him. You couldn't commit yourself to the relationship with Amber because your mind was full of your best friend. So he turned around and walked out of HQ.

“Wait? What?” Steve tried to stop him, but Danny already left the room.

“I hate to say it, but you screwed it up this time. Everyone knew that. You just didn’t pay attention. You took him for granted.” Chin gave him a sympathetic look and went back to the work he had been doing. Kono said nothing, shot him a glare and went out after Danny.

*

Danny was sitting on a bench outside the Palace looking at nothing particular when Kono came and found him.

"You know, I always feel you're the rock of the team, even you are ranting and nagging all the time." Kono sat down next to him.

"Thanks? Is that a compliment?" Danny cocked his head and smiled a little at her.

"Of course, what else do you think it would be?" Kono chuckled and continued, "you always know when to stop pushing and just to listen."

"Try growing up with a house of girls." Danny shrugged.

"Did you ever think about 'why fate did this to me?'" Kono rested her head on Danny's shoulder and asked quietly.

"Yes, a lot of times. But fate doesn't give a shit what plans we have for our lives."

"Sometimes I wish we'd have a simple happy life."

"We could have a simple life, but it wouldn't be our happy life."

"Yeah. My life would be much simpler without Adam in it, but I would never be happy." Danny patted her forearm reassuringly. He felt sad for her but in the meantime he was also very proud of her forcefulness and grit.

"Danny, we all got pain. That doesn't mean he gets a pass on being an asshole. He's not himself now, I get that. But what he did to you is not right. You can't fix it by yourself."

Danny sighed. He tried to make some smartass response, but didn't come up with any. They just sat there in the companionable silence, enjoying each other's company.

*

The afternoon drew on slowly. After Danny and Kono came back, he walked straight into his office and didn't emerge from it even once. He buried himself in the stacks of paperwork and didn't bother to look up. Steve stole many glances at Danny's office through their glass doors, and tried to catch those blue eyes, but to no avail. Steve got more agitated with every second. The remainder of the day had become something of an agony for him. He hadn't figured out his feelings for Danny and he hurt him once again. He didn't know how to apologize to his Danny for being such a jerk lately. What made things worse was that he had tonight to think about. And he had thought he'd have plenty of time to work this out. Apparently he was wrong this time.

Danny was single now. And he was going to hang out with that hot guy tonight. If everything went right (not for Steve, of course), there would be more nights for the two of them (not including Steve) to pick up where they had left off before.

*

It was a classic restaurant, Steve had to hand it to that guy. Jersey style, according to Danny. There was a small stage and some band was playing classic music on it. The songs were too familiar, since him and Danny had been bickering about them all the time while they were driving - he was driving Danny's car. It was a restaurant designed solely for Danny. Steve hated to admit it, but everything on the menu, every song the band was performing were Danny’s favorite. And Danny didn’t stop smiling after he entered the damn restaurant.

“So, how did you guys meet in the first place?” After several rounds of beers (from Jersey, trust this guy brought everything Danny loved in Jersey to this island), Kono asked curiously.

“Danny went undercover as a bare-knuckled boxer in an underground fight ring. We met in the ring. He beat the shit out of me.” Eliot chuckled at the memories.

“You went easy on me,” Danny said softly. “You could have won without any trouble.”  
  
“It would have blew your cover, baby.” Eliot stroked Danny’s arm fondly.

Kono’s eyes widened at the mention of boxing. “You are kidding, right? Danny as a boxer?”

“He’s quite good at it,” Eliot said. “Check out his biceps.”

“Not as good as you,” Danny sighed theatrically. “I was lucky I didn’t have to spar with you. That was torture, not training.”

“I bet Danny looked good in the shorts.” Kono smirked at the man. Steve snarled in his mind, willing himself to keep calm and not to imagine Danny like that. He shifted slightly in the seat to get more comfortable. The thoughts of Danny in those shorts just left him feeling a little snug down there.

“You have no idea.” Eliot laughed loudly, reached over and put an arm around Danny’s shoulders. Danny snuggled cozily under his arm.

“I don’t know how I should feel about you two getting along.” Danny shook his head and feigned to be defeated.

“I didn't know you boxed.” Steve sounded hurt.

“Apparently you don’t know a lot of things about me,” Danny replied dryly.

This couldn't go any worse, Steve thought. Only the evening out took a turn for the worse, much worse than Steve'd originally thought .

*  
  
“I have a surprise for you,” Eliot said to Danny suddenly. He stood up and walked to the stage before picking up a guitar.

“This is a song I wrote years ago for the person I loved. And this guitar was a gift he bought me. I took it with me every place I went. Now I have a second chance to sing it. Would you join me, Danny?” Eliot held up the guitar and gestured towards Danny.

Steve didn't know he was more hurt by the fact that Danny had bought this guy a guitar too or that they had a song. He grabbed the beer so hard that his knuckles went white.

Danny could see Eliot was sincere about what he had said and he felt his heart swell a little. He sighed softly and Steve saw the emotions warring on his face. Steve was dreading having to see Danny walk away from him while he could do nothing about it. He got stiff visibly. He was afraid to move. He was afraid that any movement may spur Danny to make a rash decision.

At last, Danny stood up and walked to Eliot. He took the hand offered to him and got onto the stage. Steve felt like a punch to his gut. The color drained from his face. Danny made his mind up. He lost his Danny.

The rest of the night went on in a blur. Steve didn’t know what his teammates were chatting about. He was barely aware what was going on around him. All he could think about was he lost his Danny. His Danny left him for another guy. 


	3. What My Heart Says

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve made some soul-searching introspection, while Danny and Eliot were going steady, much to Steve's chagrin. And a wet dream.

Yeah,  
So let them say it's wrong  
For me to love you.  
They could never feel  
The way that I do  
When we kiss,  
When we're close like this.

They can't see inside my soul.  
They don't know the love we know,  
All they do is waste their time  
They can never change my mind.

It's what my heart says-  
That is what I listen to.  
It's what my heart feels-  
That tells me, it tells me what to do.  
It's what my heart knows-  
And that's the only, only truth I know is real.  
All I know is what my heart says to me.

  
               Lyrics of What My Heart Says by Christian Kane

 

“Tell me everything.” The moment Danny entered the hall, Kono appeared in front of him and demanded to know everything from last night.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Danny whined in protest.

“Like I’m buying it.” Kono poked him on the shoulder.

“Fine, fine,” Danny sighed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. How could anybody fight against Kono? She would pry it out of him eventually. “After you guys left, we chatted a while. And he drove me home, bid me goodnight, and he left. I got my beauty sleep, woke up this morning and came to work. Nothing happened.”

“What? I don’t believe you.” Kono narrowed her eyes and studied him suspiciously.

“We decided to take it slow this time.” Danny let slip before he realized it.

“This time? Brah, we need to talk,” Chin chimed in.

Danny couldn’t believe this was happening. “No, nothing more to share.” He escaped into his office.

Kono’s howls of laughter followed him until he closed the door. “It’s not over!” He heard faintly Kono shout from the hall.

*

Steve sat in his office miserably. He should have closed that damned door and not tried to listen to anything they just said. But those things couldn't be un-heard. He rubbed his face, more fidgeted than before. So what was this-time thing? He knew they had had a history before. That goddamn man told them blatantly and victoriously. He stopped just short of saying "we had done it before".

Steve felt the whole universe must hate him so much. It was not like they notching into the groove of their usual fighting and bantering; it was not like Steve giving Danny more space to go out and have fun and hang out with other people, people who was not one Steve McGarrett. It was not like that at all. He just couldn't help but lash out and said some stupidest acerbic words he'd regret the moment they left his mouth in the recent months. And now the payback was hell.

Only the thought of Danny being spoken for, in the being-with-a-hot-guy-who-was-not-Steve sense of word, started making him nauseous and sick now. The problem of this chaos in Steve's head was the timing - NOW. Danny had been taken before. He had belonged to someone at some point. He had been Rachel's. Their relationship was more than complicated. It was like reading a cheesy romantic novel. (Danny would kill him if he knew he'd call his once-happy-then-long-suffering love life a cheesy novel.) And he didn't even get into Amber-related things yet.

The point here? Danny had been taken before, and Steve hadn't bothered a bit. Not until that Eliot, as strong and capable as himself, but apparently knew Danny longer than he did, showed up in Danny's life again expressing his feelings for Danny unabashedly and assuring Danny that he'd love to have a future and a family with Danny. Which, Steve realized, was the exact thing he wanted with Danny. That was when Steve started feeling head spinning, anger boiling in his gut. He really really hated that guy. A guy who was an expert at everything Steve was a master at. The use of weapons, combat skills, and other military activity. And the ability to understand one Danny Williams.

The shrinks would have a field day with that.

The territorial protectiveness, they would say, and point out that he felt threatened by the man who may have a real chance to steal his Danny away from him. (The shrinks would give him a hard time explaining his use of words - why called his partner his Danny.) He was consumed by the gnawing fear that his partner, his Danny - the one he had some important revelation about, would leave him before he'd come to terms with the frightening epiphany he got recently. He still didn’t reconcile with the idea that Danny may have already chosen to leave him. He couldn’t let this thought root in his mind.

To date he had acted on the instinct that drove him to push Danny away every time they were seconds away from baring their feelings and taking a step forward. With the epiphany creeping in on him, that he would never relinquish Danny to anyone being a thought constantly in his mind, which was quite unhoped-for, his head was busy analyzing the whole situation. How could he not see it coming before? Or he just let the fear hold him back. The timing sucked. They were still going through the phase of trying to repair their work relationship. He hated to picture a future in which he only had a work relationship with Danny. Not to mention the possible future in which he had no relationship with Danny at all.

*

After some sleepless nights and restless days, Steve was more aware of his longing for Danny. And the longing was like a weight on his chest, making it hard to breathe. When he was able to fall asleep again, his dreams became erotic, to say the least. Pleasant dreams, in a way. And Danny played a starring role and the sole role in them.

 _Danny was dressed as a professor - a crisp white bottom-down shirt and a dark blue tie, and glasses. Danny was wearing a pair of glasses and smiling at him. "Are you the student who were late for the class today?" Danny leaned back in his chair and his feet propped up on the huge desk. He was toying with a very, very red apple, smirking while leering at him through his glasses. Steve swallowed hard, noticing he was in this hot professor's office. "Yeah. That was me. Professor_."

_"What do you want?" Danny cocked his head slightly, smoothing the tie over his chest while ogling at him all the time._

_Steve just felt all blood rush to one particular part of his body. He couldn't think of a single thing. His brain was fried._

_"Are you planning on seducing me or just staring at me?" Danny stood up and walked around the desk. He stopped a few inches away from Steve._

_Steve lurched at him, grabbed at the tie and pressed Danny against the book shelves. Steve fumbled with Danny's belt and zipper and pulled down his pants._

_Danny opened his mouth trying to say something - he never shut his mouth up, right - but Steve got down on his knees and mouthed at Danny's erection through his boxers. A harsh exhale escaped Danny's lips. Steve felt his cock stir and rub raw against his jeans. Danny carded one hand through Steve's hair, and curled the other hand around the back of Steve's neck, like he couldn't bear to let him go. Steve liked Danny like this, all breathy gasps and incoherent words. He rubbed the heel of his palm over Danny's bulge hard_ _and fast. Danny threw back his head against the shelves with a groan._

_He yanked Danny's boxers down and took his cock into his hand. He stroked the shaft up and down, dragging his finger over the sensitive skin under the head. Steve stuck his tongue out of his mouth and chanced a look up at Danny. Danny was so beautiful, all flushing, his eyes closed in pleasure. Those needy wanton groans were spilling from Danny's lips. He lowered his head and took Danny's cock into his mouth. Danny's breath caught. Steve sucked at the head hard, and Danny yelped out a cry. His hips bucked up uncontrollably. Steve swirled his tongue over the head, and Danny shuddered._

_Steve stood up. Danny protested at the loss of contact. Steve ran his thumb over the head and it was Danny's undoing. He held Danny tight, and stroked him through his orgasm. He found his lips, kissed Danny hungrily. Steve pulled off his jeans and boxers together. His cock was so hard by now, it was poking against Danny's stomach._

_"Danny, Danny. I want you so much," Steve whispered into Danny's mouth._

_Danny moaned and ground against Steve. His cock was filling again. Steve gripped at Danny's hips firmly. He pushed up slowly until he was sheathed inside Danny's body._

_"Danny. You are so tight. Danny, Danny!” Steve moaned against Danny’s ear._

_He pounded into Danny hard, basking in the little noises Danny was making in the back of his throat, and he knew for sure that he could never let Danny go. He trusted up over and over enjoying the sight of Danny falling apart because of him._

Steve jolted awake. The dream was vivid. The phantom-remembered tightness of Danny's body around him was still there.

Steve rubbed his face, trying to clear the last vestige of sleep from his mind. Without looking down, he knew he had a big boner and a wet spot on his cotton boxers. Steve sighed deeply. He hadn't had a wet dream since... Since he'd went to Annapolis. He lay back and threw one arm over his face. He reached the other hand down. He was still hard and aching. The amazing needy noises Danny made were lingering in his mind. He tugged himself harder than he would have usually liked, but it felt perfect now.

Imaging it was Danny's hot body, Steve thrusted into his fist, breathing heavily. "Danny. Danny." Steve shuddered and came all over his hand. He sagged onto the bed, stomach sticky with come.

*

The following days went on without a case turning up. Steve kept himself scarce as possible as he could. He had been short with his teammates, annoying them to no end. But what else could he do? They were crack detectives and the most perceptive people he'd ever known, he feared they’d pick up on his secret struggle in no time. He knew it wasn't a solution to his unexpected but suddenly all aroused longing for Danny. He found himself longing to touch him, to put his arm around his shoulder, to pull him in his brace, to hold him tight and never let go. But Danny was seeing someone now, he had missed his window of time. And now he was scared to death that if he’d screw it up once again, his Danny may leave him for good this time. And if that ever happened, there’d be no recovering for him.

Despite of all the things that happened of late, one thing Steve was certain of was that he would never want to lose Danny. He had done and said things which had hurt Danny. He needed to make it up to Danny. Whatever decision he would come to later, he wanted Danny to be here in his life by then. While he was sorting out his feelings for Danny, he needed to be on his best behavior around him.

He hadn’t decided whether to pine for Danny from afar and just watch him be happy without himself in his life or to secretly put an end to the thing Danny and Eliot had right now. Whichever action he would take next, the first step would be the same: to get in Danny’s good book again.

*

Danny had dreaded bringing a new adult to his kids' lives after Gabby left, unless he was 100% sure this person would stay. Which somehow explained his relationship with Amber. He had went on dates with her, but seldom brought Grace with him to spend time with Amber together. But Eliot... Well, it was complicated. First of all, Charlie got a kick out of cowboy thing. And Eliot, he was like a walking cowboy out of the old wild west movies. After he took Charlie on a horse riding for a couple minutes under Danny's super keen supervision, Eliot became his little boy's coolest uncle ever. Danny didn't see this coming. But what could he do? He wanted to spoil his boy to make up the three years he lost. If this kind of activity was allowed by Charlie's doctor and made his boy thrilled, then let it be. Only if Danny was an expert at horse riding, that would be perfect. He wanted to be the one to make his boy excited and happy after all.

Lately, he was considering going steady with Eliot, even though he knew he had not been over Steve completely. To be honest, part of him didn’t believe he’d ever get over Steve. But he was trying. He was trying to open up to another man; he was trying to shed some of his emotional guard what he’d usually be on with people, while Steve was the only exception. He had been investing so much in his relationship with Steve that he didn’t even know how to do that again with another person.

But Danny would like to have a try. Seeing Eliot dote his kids, treat them like they were the most precious gifts in the world made Danny realize that Eliot was serious about their relationship and he wanted to have a future with him. Having a future together, no past, only one future. That appealed Danny. Maybe this time he finally got a chance to have a happily-ever-after.

*

"Steve, I need to get off early this Friday, if there's no crazy criminals running around the island that afternoon. Is that ok?" Danny sauntered into Steve’s office and asked.

"Sure. Everything's all right?” The concern in Steve’s voice was touching.

"Yeah, of course. Just Charlie wants a real outdoor camping after the doctor said some open air activities would be helpful to him. How could I say no? He got a tent in his room, but never camped in the open. So I figure it would be fun to take him to some natural reserve, but not too far away into the jungle."

"That would be fun. Do you need anything? I mean you are not that good at camping outdoor yourself. You know. And taking care of Charlie while camping in the open, it would be a little stretch for you. I can help, you know." Steve offered, before smiling widely and expectantly.

"Well, thanks for your confidence in me. But no, thanks. We reserved a log cabin in a valley," Danny said dryly, and gave him a feigned put-out glare.

"I thought you just said camping outdoor."

"Yeah, we'd do that during the day, and go to sleep under a real roof.” Danny rolled his eyes as if Steve just made no sense.

"This is not a camping trip at all!" Steve gave him a shocked look.

"Charlie is three, and it's a camping trip for him."

"What about Grace?” Steve changed his tactic.

"What?"

"It will be a huge amount of work to do for camping with two kids. Don't you need any help?” Steve asked, with his best puppy eyes, as if he was waiting for Danny to take him along. (Which was true.)

"Oh, about that. Grace has some school assignment to do this weekend. So it's just me, Charlie and Eliot."

"Oh, ok. I guess that means you got everything taken care of. That's great." Steve's voice went all businesslike and halfway to hollow.

"Thanks, babe.” Danny ignored the way his heart ached and left the office.

*

Steve was sulking and grumpy the whole week after Danny told him his weekend plans. It only got worse when the said Friday was getting nearer.

"You sure everything is fine?" Danny asked him once when they were chasing a group of gunners on the highway that Thursday afternoon.

"Of course. Why'd you think something's wrong?" Steve veered a lane to avoid sideswiping a coming van.

"Nothing at all." Danny held onto the door handle and said nothing more.

Thanks to the stupidity of the suspects they were pursuing, the high speed car chase ended rather anticlimactically. It was only followed by chasing on foot in a maze of containers. Danny was grateful for that.

It could almost be counted as an eventless day, if it didn't end up having to pull a concussed SEAL out of ocean after he ran after the suspects against Danny's advice to wait for the backup and got knocked out by an explosion. Why there were so many explosions was beyond Danny. The only reason Danny didn't get caught up in it this time was the suspect he went after was an idiot who thought he may stand a chance against Danny and didn’t run that desperately. And when Danny tackled this moron, Steve was already out of his sight.

Later, when Steve sat in the back of the ambulance and let the paramedic look at him, Danny got all furious at him.

"It was crazy, even for you, my friend!" Danny threw up his arms in a way that indicated his anger.

"Danno," Steve said sheepishly.

"Don't. Do not Danno me. Do you have a death wish?" Danny glared at him.

"No." Steve paused for a second before he asked tentatively. "We good?" He was still groggy, but he managed to put on a goofy smile and gave Danny his puppy eyes.

"No. We are not good at all." Danny waved his finger at him.

"You don't love me anymore." Steve looked pitiful and wounded.

The paramedic fought back a smile. "Detective Williams, you are too hard on Commander McGarrett."

"Am I? No, you have no idea what this goof is capable of." Danny was in his full-on ranting mode. "This freaking SEAL ninja with all kinds of craziness in his head…”

Before Danny finished it, he felt Steve was tugging at his shirt. “Danno.” He looked very weepy.

Danny got concerned about it suddenly. He cupped Steve’s face with both hands and took time to examine his features very carefully, searching for any alarming sign. He turned to the paramedic, “what did you give him? Why is he a mopey mess?”

“His mind may be a little confused because of the concussion. But it’s not a serious one. He could go home later after I patch up other wounds, as long as he gets someone watch him closely for the next 12 hours, he’s cleared to go.”

“Okay, that leaves me babysitting this big goof for the next 12 hours. Fabulous.” While Danny was bitching about Steve being a big baby, Steve wrapped his long arms around Danny’s waist and pressed his face against his solid chest. “See. A mopey man octopus to take care of. How is this my life?”

“Ugh, boss number two,” Kono appeared as a shiny knight, only smiling at him like a wicked witch, “do you need me to drive you and boss home? It seems he will not let you go in the foreseeable future.”

Danny wanted to protest at the indignity, but the fact of Steve telling Kono “Danno doesn’t love me anymore” with his big tearful eyes while still holding onto him and Kono’s sympathetic reply “He always loves you” didn’t help the case at all. Danny resigned, pulled this confused octopus up to his feet and let Kono drive them home. Steve’s home. He did not notice that knowing grin Kono kept on her face the whole way back and Steve’s mumbled words of being abandoned by Danny at all. He didn't notice it at all.

*

Later that night after Danny put a clingy Steve in bed, Steve asked him. “You canceled your weekend plan for me?” Steve sounded uncertain.

“Yes. Now go to sleep, baby Seal.” Danny pulled up the cover and tucked Steve in.

“Danno. Charlie is looking forward to it.” Steve grabbed the cover and stared at Danny, and Danny couldn't help but find a bashful Steve cute.

“You are not up to a camping trip. We'll do it together next weekend.” Danny brushed his finger lightly over Steve’s hair.

“We?” Steve’s eyes widened.

“Yes, we. Did you get some hearing damage? You are keeping repeating what I said,” Danny said, “and the team, if they have time. So please stop sulking in your demented McGarrett way. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. You are worse than my three-year-old. I don’t want to deal with a cranky grumpy 39-year-old next week. Okay?” Despite his harsh words, Danny was in fact smiling at Steve fondly.

Steve just nodded and beamed at him shyly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original plot was Steve talked Danny into going on with his weekend plans. But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t think Danny would just leave Steve at home, especially when he got injured. Plus, Danny must have picked up on the vibe and known the reason Steve got cranky the whole week. 
> 
> I’m sure it didn’t occur to Steve yet that if they go camping together, he has to spend a sleepless night knowing that Danny and Eliot share the same tent.
> 
> Also, Eliot needs a chance to see the ever-smoldering looks between Danny and Steve. The two of them still have more chemistry than average partners have. Their casual compatibility just proves (yet again) they belong to each other, which everybody knows, except the two.


	4. In The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about the miserable future without Danny in it, and people around them keeping reminding him that he had been an idiot not to take the first step and they could have been the happy couple.

I guess I oughta tell you what's been going on  
Well I've been chasing dreams for everyone but me.  
When your heart is filled with misery  
It's hard to find the energy  
To remember just how much she means to me.

Well I keep everything inside so long till it burns  
Everybody stokes the fire and the walls get a little higher.  
I light the candle at both ends  
And I hit the gas, the wheels start to spin  
But she's always there to catch me when I fall.

'Cause I've been hell on wheels for days now  
There ain't a shade of red I can't paint  
When the lights go down, she always helps me see.  
In the darkness a day will come  
Another light for you to lean upon  
But until then maybe your heart  
Can rest in mine.  
Lyrics of In The Darkness by Christian Kane

 

Danny slept on Steve's couch after he tucked him in. Steve fell asleep with a big smile on his face that night knowing Danny would like to go camping trip with him and the team. Conveniently forgetting Eliot would tag along, Steve felt so thrilled and couldn't wait to get well soon and spend time with Charlie. He had so many wonderful tales about the wildlife he'd love to share with the little boy and had so many things he'd love to teach him. He just couldn't stop smiling like an idiot until he dozed off.

Danny stayed at his place and took care of him for the best part of that weekend, then he left to pick up Charlie and went to the aquarium with his little boy, and Eliot of course - which made Steve feel like petulant child in his head while he had to plaster his most convincing smile he could summon and promised Danny he would behave and try his best not to do anything Danny wouldn't do or wouldn't allow him to do.

*

For the first time after he realized he may have fallen in love with his best friend long before he had realized it, he had time to think about it without anything else he could do to distract him. That was how he wound up lamenting his loneliness by himself when he got an unhoped-for phone call on Sunday. 

"Uncle Steve?"

"Gracie? Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Just mom and step-Stan have something coming up and need to be out of town today. And Danno won't be back until late this afternoon. I don't want to call him and spoil his quality time with Charlie. So I wonder if I can come over and spend the day with you." 

"Of course you can. If it’s okay with your mom." 

"It is. Actually she's here, she wants to talk to you."

"Okay."

"Commander McGarrett."

"Hi, Rachel. Call me Steve."

"Steve, I know it's a little too much to ask for at such a short notice. I was thinking about leaving her to her own devices at home with the maids, but Grace says she wants to spend time with you. I know it may be inappropriate since you and Daniel didn't work out."

"It's all right. I love spending time with Grace. Do you need me to go pick her up?"

"Oh, it's very kind of you to ask. But I'll send my driver to drop her off at your place. Daniel will pick her up this afternoon. And thank you very much. I appreciate it."

"Uncle Steve! See you later!"

"Sure. Gracie." Steve was too consumed by all kinds of emotions running through his mind to notice the 'didn't work out' part of Rachel's words.

*

Steve hung up the phone, unable to believe Grace still wanted to spend time with him. He didn’t have many chances to do so with Grace and Charlie since… Since there had been tension between him and Danny. He didn’t blame Danny for not bringing them over anymore, but he missed the old days very much. When they had hung out every weekend. When him and Grace had done some stupid things deliberately only to annoy Danny. Those were the memories he held on to during these lonely days. He had pretended that they were his own family when he sat in the chair beside Danny watching Grace building sand castle in the beach, when the three of them snuggled up on couch watching movies and sharing popcorn. With Grace, Danny and now Charlie, he had created an imaginary family of his own which would never leave him, which he'd want to shower them with everything he had. He'd have a home to come back to where would be full of laughter and love. The little dream he held in mind had been shattered when the things went wrong between him and his partner. 

*

"Uncle Steve, do you love Danno?"

"What? What?" Steve almost choked on his own spit. 

"I thought you would be my step-Steve one day," Grace said calmly, in the same voice as she said something with certainty.

Steve's heart was full at Grace's words. "It's complicated." 

"It's always complicated for adults. Don't you love my dad?" Grace rolled her eyes, looking like her father so much. Steve thought he just caught a glimpse of Danny in her features.

"Well, yes, I love him. But he's seeing someone now. And he's happy. That's what counts. Right?" Steve didn’t want to deny it anymore, especially not in front of Grace. 

"Yeah, I think he's happy now. But you know what, I'm pretty sure he was happier when he's with you. I know you were not together together, but he was more cheerful then."

"How do you understand all these things?" Steve was shocked at her words.

"I'm thirteen. Uncle Steve, I'm not a baby. I know the difference between like a person a lot and love a person. You and Danno are missing the signs." Grace shrugged disappointedly.

"I don't know what to say right now. But I'm sure if your dad gets the wind of what we are chatting about, he's gonna kill me."

"He won't. He loves you, uncle Steve." The grin on her face was bright and soothing, and making his heart warm as well. 

"Try some pastries." Grace said suddenly. "Bring Danno his favorite food. It would help."

When Gracie was picked up by Danny that afternoon, Steve’s head was full of Danny - not a surprise, actually, and a new mission: Operation Get Back into Danny’s Good Graces - Supported by Gracie Williams. That would go smoothly, no doubt. He had an inside man on the job. A very smart little girl, scratch that, a very intelligent teenaged girl who got every well-founded intel on Danny. 

*

"Gee, someone's chipper this morning." Chin looked from the screen towards Steve who was bouncing into the hall with a big paper bag in his arms.

"Morning." Steve flashed him a big smile and sauntered to Danny's office. "Morning, Danno." 

Danny raised his brow and eyed this ridiculously spirited Steve. "You look rather cheerful, Steve."

"I'm a morning person and I brought you something." 

“What’s this?” Danny pointed at the bag dropped on his desk and asked this stupidly grinning Steve.

“Malasadas.” Steve said innocently.

“Don’t play cute with me. I have a teenaged daughter who is a master at it.” Danny waved his hand at Steve, “I mean why you brought me those?” 

“To boost your cholesterol level?” Steve batted his ridiculously long lashes at him, and Danny was sure there was something not right, because his partner was wearing one of his faces which said “I just got a grenade launcher as my birthday gift, how awesome”. This was definitely disturbing in a way Danny didn’t want to delve into but he had to. For all he knew was that they didn’t have any case recently to let Steve the crazy SEAL, trigger-happy ninja have the chance to blow some shit up. So the way Steve was so pleased with himself was just worrisome. He just didn’t quite figure it out, yet. But he’d get the bottom of it. 

“Ha. Very funny.” Danny rolled his eyes at his partner who still got that goofy smile on his face which irritated Danny more. If only Danny got to know what was on Steve’s mind. 

“Please, Danny. It’s just pastries.” Steve sighed theatrically, pulling on his best wounded face, “take it as a thank-you present. And thank you for you taking care of me when I was injured.”

“Okay.” Danny said suspiciously, but took a mouthful of it, “you’re welcome, Steve. Huh, this is great. I almost feel like my good personality beginning rubbing off on you.”

“Just enjoy it, Danno.” Steve gave him a mock put-out face and was about to leave his office. Danny couldn’t help but tease him, “you’re almost a civilized person, Steve.” 

After Steve entered his office, he pulled out his phone and typed in: Get Danno malasadas. Checked.

So this worked. One of the ways to please Danny was indeed through his stomach. Steve made a mental note to himself that he’d bring Danny his favorites as often as possible. Maybe I could bribe Danny into anything with these unhealthy food, Steve thought cheerfully.

*

Unfortunately, Steve's cheerful morning was broken by Eliot's unannounced appearance before lunchtime. When he ambled into the bullpen, the four of them were just about to leave and have lunch together. 

"Hey, guys! I bring you some food. Danny said you don't have much time to have some decent lunch lately. So I was like, what the hell. I own a restaurant, and my man don't have decent meal everyday. That is terribly wrong." Eliot held up the food containers and greeted them with a huge smile. 

Kono shrilled with joy and took the food from Eliot's hands. "I love you so much brah. Ever think about replacing Danny?" 

Eliot chuckled, “sorry, sweetie. I think Danny cast a very strong spell on me. I'm enthralled. Off the market, permanently." Danny snorted at this but grinned while digging in the bags. "You brought me lasagna. Did you cook it?" Danny's smile got much brighter when he caught the sight of the food.

"Of course." Eliot replied. “Your favorite one.”

"Wait a sec. You cook?" Kono asked through a mouthful of food. "You are not just the owner of a cool restaurant, you actually cook? Do you have other talents we don't know yet?"

"Actually..." Danny cut off his words before he had a chance to finish. "Kono. Manners."

"Just curious, brah. I didn't mean that kind of talents, you know, you're overthinking." Kono smirked at the blushing Danny. 

Ok, that was the sign that Steve's peaceful morning was over officially. Steve just wanted to smash something - anything in vengeance. Screw the "bring Danny his favorite food" strategy. How could he compete with a man who had a restaurant and actually cooked for Danny? Forget about that tactic. He needed a new one.

*

It was just too easy to get under Steve McGarrett’s skin, Eliot thought. Actually, he had prepared himself for having to go head to head with Steve. He’d never thought it would be that easy to win Danny back. 

Danny and he had crossed paths several times before when they were doing their jobs respectively. They’d gotten to know each other slowly, even they had different definitions of justice. In fact, Eliot quite liked the way Danny talked about his job and the kind of justice he had faith in. He always remembered the joy in Danny’s eyes when he felt that he’d fought the crime and made the world a better one for his little girl. Danny had been like the warm light to him. Although he never considered himself a bad guy or a villain, he had known long ago his soul has holes and he had many dark secrets buried deep in his heart. To be near Danny had felt like taking away the vestige of chill in his heart. He was attracted to Danny’s soul as well as he was attracted to Danny’s body. 

Eliot had always known Danny was the caring, considerate and faithful person when he was with someone. They had kept being friendly to each other over the few years. And he had never doubted that Danny didn’t even think about involving with other person romantically or physically when he was married. Besides Eliot had been contented to have Danny as some unusual kind of friend then. He had been laughed at by his friends in the Cavalry for this. But he had kept in touch with Danny, and would go out for dinner if Eliot was in town. They would chat about those trivial things in their lives and avoid those significant ones which defined them. 

But the last time when their paths crossed, Danny had just gotten divorced and been very depressed. During the months Eliot and his friends were in New Jersey for a different reason, Eliot had tried everything in his power to cheer Danny up even only slightly. They’d kinda had a short-lived relationship. Then Danny followed his daughter to Hawaii, and Eliot and the Cavalry had another job in another country. They parted their ways, but remained as friends. 

He’d known their relationship would never last if he kept doing what he had done for a living. But the Cavalry was his family too. Just like Danny had left everything he had in New Jersey in order to follow his daughter to a completely strange place, Eliot couldn’t abandon his family, either. Fortunately for Eliot, after spending years in pursuing their kind of justice, his friends had decided to take a break and settle down with their beloved ones. This meant that he got a second chance with Danny. 

After the Cavalry had a night out celebrating as a team for the last time, Eliot booked the first flight out to Hawaii where Danny had been for over five years. He’d never expected that Danny would be single, since he was hot, reliable and caring who’d given anything to his beloved one. Who would miss out on this kind of guy? But Eliot had to go there and see how Danny had been doing for himself. In fact, he couldn’t wrap his brain around how Danny ended up divorced in the first place. Except his crazy working hours and work related risks, Danny was such a catch. But that was not his business as long as that meant Danny was on the market again.

So it was quite a shock for him to find out that Danny was in a relationship with a woman half-heartedly. It wasn’t something Danny would do. He was that kind of guy who made people feel secure around him. He’d always committed himself in a relationship. This kind of thing was just weird. So Eliot had called his friend and asked for a favor and gotten everything he needed to know. Everything regarding Danny and Steve McGarrett who was the reason that Danny had never been in a serious relationship since he'd set foot on this island. 

Then it had been quite clear to Eliot that whether Amber or other girlfriends Danny may have had these years wouldn’t be a threat to him. As long as this Steve McGarrett didn’t figure out his feelings or didn’t man up to tell Danny, all he needed to do was biding his time patiently until Danny broke up with his girlfriend which was just a matter of time. 

Yes, not as people usually thought a hunter would be, he was quite intelligent in a way. He had eyes and was great at reading people, which was one of the many reasons that he’d managed to survive these years. 

McGarrett was the only threat. Sometimes he just couldn’t believe that he was this lucky that McGarrett was the typical military guy who was emotionally-stunted - Danny's words - somehow. And he counted on this if he ever wanted to have Danny back. 

He was not stupid or arrogant to believe that Danny would be happier with him than he would be with Steve. But he was confident he could give Danny a secure and contented life. He just kept hoping it would be enough in a way for Danny.

Still, it was fun to see McGarrett struggle with his own feelings. He had never been this cruel. But somehow it was pleasing to wind Steve up. He was amused while felt sorta bad for him. So as much as it was a turn on for Eliot, giving Danny some hickeys or bite marks was another way to drive Steve up the wall, although it was a shame he couldn't witness it. He knew it was low, but sometimes it was too tempting. As he said, Steve was a pleasure to tease. But of course he definitely didn't want to push his button too hard and provoke him into doing something about his unrequited love. That was for sure.

*

When they were sitting together at the table in the conference room the other day, Steve accidentally caught a glimpse of the smooth expanse of skin Danny usually hid behind his ridiculous bottom-up shirts and ties, and a hickey or bite mark on it. Oh, fuck! Fucking fuck! Steve thought he may go crazy from this. 

“I think I got an email.” Steve stood up and escaped into his office.

“I didn’t hear anything.” Danny complained. “Are you sure?”

“VERY.” Steve raised his voice and decided to hide in his office the whole day.

After he was finally alone, Steve’s brain wandered helpfully to imagining where else there might have marks like that. It was killing him to think about Danny groaning under another man. His Danny shuddering and screaming other man’s name. Those images of Danny were doing nothing for him to deal with this situation. He couldn’t stand looking, but at the same time, he could not push those thoughts of Danny away from his mind. His imagination was very keen on providing him with various images of Danny squirming under his body, pushing back to meet his thrusts and... And now he had to scoot up nearer to his desk hoping it would hide his quickly swelling member from anyone who'd walk into his office.

*

After the cousins told Danny they'd love to go camping with him and his kids, they went straight into Steve's office. 

"What?" Steve tore his eyes from his computer screen and found the cousins were giving him funny looks.

They exchanged their meaningful looks before Kono finally said, "boss man, do you understand what you'd ask for if we take this camping trip with Danny? By we, I mean you, the biggest idiot in the world."

"What are you talking about?" Steve knitted his brows, staring at them in confusion.

"You have no clue, don't you? Chin, tell him." Kono turned to Chin for help.

"No, cuz, it's your job. I'm trying not to get involved in this mess as best as I can." Chin waved his hand and kept his voice unemotional.

"Fine." Kono turned to Steve and said, "I finally understand why some women you dated before said it's lucky you're good looking."

"Hey! What does that mean?" It brought a sharp rejoinder from Steve.

"It means you will spend a sleepless night because you can't ignore that Danny and Eliot are in the same tent sleeping." Kono pointed out coldly. "I mean taking rest. Don't get your imagination run too wild."

Steve opened his mouth, speechless for a second too long before he said, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"We have eyes. We know how you feel for Danny." The cousins snorted contemptuously.

"He is seeing someone now." Steve finally managed to get the words out.

"Boss, you know we love you right? But I have to point out that you always have been a bit obtuse about these things, haven’t you?" Her mouth twisted into a derisive sneer, "I swear my 12-year-old niece would do better! But you know we all root for you, right? No matter what happens, we'll be glad to know you and Danny would sort things out."

*

His concern for his partner was as strong as ever, even he was quite aware his partner was a capable man and cop, and more than capable of handling himself well. If anything he felt more possessive towards his partner right now. He didn't know if this had anything to do with Danny seeing Eliot now, or his fear at the possibility that they may have already went steady. 

He had never dared to delve into his feelings. Somehow he had realized the answer lay there waiting for him. 

He felt like one on the edge of a great downward slope. If he took the first step, he would be unable to control the monument.

When he went to bed that night, his eyes fixed to the ceiling, and tried to sleep. But sleep was a long time coming. 

I have to wonder...all the time...how I stack up against him...

He cannot dare to compete with that, and the knowing of it took a crippling toll on him.

Steve knew he had to find a way to win his Danny back. 

He did his best to keep his hopes up, and he couldn't keep his mind from beginning to spin the possibilities that him and Danny could have another shot after all these years they had wasted, and Danny could fall for him again, if he'd play his cards right. He had never been courageous enough to admit his feelings for Danny before, because he couldn't afford to risk their friendship to take the first step. He had been held back by fear too long, and now he may have lost Danny as well as in the worst scenario of that "what-if" - what if they had taken another step forward.

Now he had to be more than courageous, he had to be audacious.


	5. All I Wanna Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camping day. A manipulative Eliot and a helpless Steve. Danny didn't misunderstand them as they thought he would. But neither of the two knew that.

My faith is real  
And my hope is true.  
Some kinda feelin'  
That I share with you.  
I'm gonna keep on believin'  
Anyway that I can. 

And all I wanna do is hold on to the memory of you.  
And all I wanna do is talk to that someone I knew. 

Straight from my heart tangled in blues  
I tell myself I'm not missin' you,  
When as long that it's over  
I'll still think of you.  
I'll think of you.

Lyrics of All I Wanna Do

 

After hanging up with Alec, Eliot couldn't help but grin to himself. 

This was interesting. Much more interesting than he had thought before. McGarrett had almost gotten engaged only a few months ago with a woman who had ditched him more than once and had left him to death. He'd bought a ring and didn't return it. He'd bet that McGarrett would never realize that it would become a booby trap for his future relationship.

"You'd never let your true love go without a fight, buddy. That's stupid." Alec said. Eliot only snorted his agreement. If Parker would ever leave him, Alec would track her down, even to the hell. It seemed the men of the Cavalry were the same kind of lovers. They'd never relinquish their love to anyone.

And now it looked like the perfect moment to stake his claim. Maybe going camping with Danny’s teammates was not as bad an idea as it had seemed to be.

Danny was like the light to him. Without light his life faded into darkness. Maybe Danny was like the air to McGarrett, even he didn't notice it yet. Without air? Good luck, man.

He'd never relinquished his light though, even he could survive without it. He'd done what he wanted; he'd gotten what he loved. He was not a bad guy and he would never do anything that might harm Danny and his little ones. They were inside his protection boundary. He would keep them safe and nice. But he'd been an adrenaline-addict for years, as much as he loved the domestic life with Danny, he would love to have some fun in his life.

He knew he kinda took advantage of Danny's weakness that he was honorable and faithful in a relationship. He'd always think about everyone but himself. It was really cute and it made Eliot want to give anything he'd like to keep him in his life. He knew Danny was a family man, and Eliot loved to do anything to give him a family that would never abandon him. The potential future with Danny appealed Eliot so much that he hadn't hesitated to open a restaurant on the island after he got to understand that Danny would break up with that girl soon. He had stashed away a considerable amount of money through the years of risky business. He could offer Danny a life in which Danny could do anything he'd like to do without having to worry about how to provide for his kids. He loved the idea of building a life with Danny on this rock. Or maybe years later after Grace wanted to go to another place, they would follow her again, just as what Danny had done before.

*

It was good weather, a nice campsite. Well, he knew Danny and Eliot would spend the night sleeping next to each other sharing one tent. This would be real for him now. Danny being with another man would be no longer what he knew. It would become some real thing he’d see with his own eyes. What he knew and what he saw were two different things. 

If only he could figure it out sooner. When him and Danny were at the couples’ therapy, he’d thought the whole thing was just a joke. But that boring place now seemed nice and inviting. If they were a real couple - of course he would never let them end up going to a therapy - they could have enjoyed their bonding time - yes, he would see that weekend as a bonding time, not a total waste. They might have had some fun and taken some classes making lei together, or taken some hiking trip and he would never want to escape that session which ended up getting Danny sprain his ankle. They may have still taken those burgers as lunch since it was one of Danny’s favorite food. He would have called Danny good-looking the same way, but only because that was what he thought and not as a teasing. And he would have never went out, gotten himself stoned that night leaving an injured Danny alone on the bed watching TV to while away the hours. When he thought back to that night now, it was not as fun as he remembered at all. What he did was just fooling around and flirting with anyone he came across while what he really wanted in his heart - even he couldn’t admit then - was in fact very simple - staying in the room and spending time with Danny, even they’d only ordered in some food and maybe watched some stupid movie. But now he was sure whatever he did that night with Danny would make that night wonderful.

When he thought about that night, the first though and only thought Steve had now was to apologize to Danny for his stupid decisions, for he walking out on him and leaving him alone, and the emptiness and dull pain he had been feeling these days was magnified by his regrets. 

*

“So, monkey you share the tent with Auntie Kono tonight, and Charlie will be with me and Eliot. Ok?” Danny took out the tents from his car, while Eliot held Charlie in his arms.

“Okay, Danno.” Grace said.

“That leaves you two.” Danny turned and looked at Chin and Steve. “Where’s your tent? You share one?”

“I’m thinking about sleeping under the stars.” Chin shrugged.

“You the same?” Danny raised his eyebrows at Steve and Steve grinned at him stupidly. "We can stand guard, Danny." 

"Brah, I'm not joking. By sleeping, I mean sleeping." Chin shot Steve a glare and shook his head.

"Fine, I'll do it alone. I'll guard our campsite." Steve gave Danny a goofy smile and Danny rolled his eyes at him while his lips tipped up in a small smile of which only Steve caught a glimpse.

* 

“Fine, then you go get firewood, the rest of us set up our tents.” Danny told Steve, bossing him around unrepentantly.

“Bossy.” Kono smiled at him.

“Bossy, Danno.” Grace giggled.

“Bossy,” Charlie parroted his sister, “Danno.”

“Okay, you gang up on me! How is this my life?” Danny raised his hands in mock surrender and beamed at them.

“You with me, big boy?” Eliot scooped up Charlie and put him on his shoulders. Charlie let out a shriek and bubbled over with enthusiasm. 

“Can I help?” Charlie lowered his head and asked Eliot, landing his small hands on Eliot’s head.

“Sure. Cowboy.” Eliot held his legs firmly and landed a small kiss on his knee which set off giggle of the little boy. Danny looked at them fondly.

 *

Eliot had already spread out one of the tent covers. trust this man know what he was doing. Charlie tried to imitate Eliot’s pose, mimicking what Eliot was doing when he crouched down. And the next moment the two of them were all laughing and huddling around on the ground. Looking at these two men, Danny almost forgot his troubles and started to feel content. A smile stole over his face. He didn’t notice the secret glances Steve kept shooting his way.

Eliot started fitting the parts together, and Charlie sat on the ground playing with one of those tent poles. He kept an eye on this little boy and busy setting up their tent. He really loved this boy. They hit off almost at once when they first met.

*

"Hi, any advice on which jewelry store has the best wedding bands on this rock?" Eliot’s voice came behind him.

Steve was jolted out of his reverie as Eliot rustled near him. That was ridiculously startling that Steve didn't notice he come close even he was lost in his thoughts. "What do you want?" Steve asked with a deadpan expression.

"I asked for your advice, since of all the people you are the one who bought a wedding ring most recently. I got the impression that Kono's husband had bought theirs before you did. So, you are my best adviser." 

"I don't know. They look the same to me." Steve answered nonchalantly.

"It can't be, since you still keep that one. It must be good."

"How do you know it?" Steve’s voice raised dangerously.

"Down, big guy. I'm not messing with you. Just looking for recommendation. A little advice from me, make sure the lady will take it next time." Eliot smirked.

"Answer me. How do you know when I bought a ring and still have it?" Steve closed some of the distance between them and raised his hands to grab at this man's collars.

Eliot staved off swiftly in an efficient move and drawled, "wow, calm down, super soldier. I'm only asking for help here."

"Eliot, Charlie is looking for you." Danny got around a huge tree and stopped dead in his tracks. "What are you two doing here? Steve?" 

"Don't worry. I'm asking for some advice. You said Charlie was looking for me? I'm going back and taking care of him. You need to enjoy your off-time since you don't have much." Eliot pulled Danny into a hug and pressed his lips on his boyfriend's. "I'll take care of our cowboy." Then he headed to their campsite without even looking back.

"Steve! What's going on?!" Danny asked curtly.

"Danny, he started it." Steve took a step closer to Danny and held him by his shoulders. "Something is not right with him. Danny, do you know what he did before he opened that restaurant?"

"What do you mean?" Danny said coldly.

"Danny! I'm not joking. He knows when I bought the ring for Catherine! He also knows that I don't return that damn ring, I still have it. That's not something a restaurant owner would be able to know. Danny! Something's off." Steve spluttered and he grabbed Danny so hard. He was worried and didn't realize how hard his grip was. 

"You still keep that ring?" Danny asked in an unemotional voice.

"I don't have time to deal with it. Danny! That's not the point here." Steve spoke quickly. "That Eliot is not what he seems to be. There's something..."

"Steve!" Danny cut him off coldly, "that’s not your business. It's my life. Leave it alone."

"Danny! I... I'm not..." Steve stammered. 

Danny broke out of his grip, "Charlie is waiting for me. I gotta go." Then he left.

Steve smacked his fist on a trunk and called after his partner, "Danny!" But Danny was already out of his sight. 

*

Dusk was quickly fading into night. The campfire was roaring and the chairs had been set up. They sat around the fire. Charlie was on Eliot’s lap. He held onto his shirt and was giggling at some story Eliot was telling him. Grace nestled between her father's laps, resting her head on his knee. She wrapped one arm around her father's leg and stared into the fire in silence. Danny was stroking her hair and humming something undistinguished. 

As the night went on, burgers were replaced by marshmallows and soda and beer. Charlie was so excited that he couldn't fall asleep. So Danny went inside the tent to amuse him with stories. Eliot followed them. It wasn't long before people outside heard him singing lullabies to Charlie.

After having some marshmallows and bidding her daddy and little brother good night, Grace went into the tent with Kono. Waiting until there were only the two of them, Chin raised his eyebrows and asked Steve, "brah, what's wrong? You seem rather upset about something."

Steve hesitated a while and lowered his voice, "I need you to check out Eliot’s background."

"Any particular reason?" 

"I'm not sure for now. Just run his name through the databases. Get everything you can find. And don't tell Danny."

Chin gave him a questioning look and waited him to go on.

Steve rubbed his face and said, "I'll tell him myself. Just please help me." He raised his eyes and looking at Chin pleadingly.

"Okay, you are the boss." Chin held up the bottle of beer and nodded. 

*

"Danny, I was not trying to sabotage your relationship. I swear!" Steve said quickly, afraid that Danny wouldn't let him finish this conversation. "We should dig into his background. He knows my financial activities. Please, trust me." Steve pleaded.

"Steve, I always trust you. I trust you with my kids' lives. I never doubted you, and will never doubt you." Danny sighed.

"Then why?" Steve asked, sounding flustered in a way he never did.

"I just ask you to leave it. Would it be too much to ask?"

"Danny..." Steve sounded defeated and frustrated.

"Okay, I have paperwork to do, so do you. Just drop it, please." Danny said to him and vanished into his office, leaving Steve alone in the bullpen looking disconcerted.

*

Steve couldn't close his eyes. The nightmares were haunting in his mind.

Danny was beaming with happiness. Those pink lips curled with complete sweetness. His smile was warm like spring air. Then he turned around and saw Steve, he frowned at him and strayed away from him.

Steve held out his hands, but he couldn't reach Danny. He wanted to cry out, but no sound could come out of his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was on this sentence, "of course he would never let them end up going to a therapy", I was like, 'are u sure, Steve? You're shit at communicating. You get Danny angry on a daily basis.' Then I felt maybe if they're a real couple, Steve'd have many other ways to express his love for Danny. He's not known for subtlety. He could do many unspeakable things to his boyfriend. ;)


	6. Right in Front of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small confrontation between Steve and Eliot.  
> Danny asked Steve to make him a promise.

Well I understand  
That you want a man  
Who won’t stir up the memories of your past.  
Somebody new,  
Somebody who  
You can build something with that will last.  
You may be surprise  
To learn I realized  
That I’m not the man for this position

Yeah, I’m letting go  
And I thought you should know,  
I hope you will respect my decision.  
And if I quit that easy  
And if I just walked away  
How would you really feel inside?  
Would you really be that happy? Would you?  
Would you wonder if the man that you’ve been wishing for had already come true  
And been standing right in front of you?

             Lyrics of Right in Front of You

*

"Someone's running a background check on you, collecting information, buddy. I’ve put flags on all of our names. If anyone is being looked into, I'd be alerted.”

"Exactly the kind of things you'd do, Alec.”

"So do you know who are investigating you?” Alec sounded amused.

"Steve McGarrett,” Eliot answered dryly.

"Your boy's secret admirer?” He was intrigued.

"Not that secret. I bet the whole island knows how Steve feels, except Steve.”

"Sounds interesting." Alec paused for a second. "Do you need anything? Your identity is flawless."

"Could you seal all of the information on me and list them as classified?"

"Why? Your id won't have a problem,” He asked quizzically.

"That'll be more interesting. What fun would I have if McGarrett gets nothing suspicious on me? I'd love to see him frustrated.” Eliot said slyly.

"You're such a cruel man, buddy. But this's fun. Let's do it. I'll make it perfect. Just keep me in the loop."

*

"Do you get something, anything?” Steve asked Chin expectantly.

"Where's Danny?” Chin raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"He had an appointment with the doctor. Regular follow up.”

"Ok, then. You still didn't tell him, right?" Chin sighed. "Sorry, brah. We ran his name through every databases we've known. Most of them come up ‘classified’."

"What does that mean?” Steve asked, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Your file in the Navy is classified too.”

“If that’s the case, Danny would have told me. Something about the guy doesn’t sit right with me.” Steve answered with certainty.

"We have looked at his finances. It's clean. But it only contains the last year's. His income tax return said he made about $380,000 last year. Other than that, we got nothing.”

“We got his finances of one year, but nothing else?” Steve got agitated.

“We know he managed to build a successful business in a highly competitive market that year. But we have nothing suspicious on him. And why do we even start looking into him?” Chin finally asked the question that he got in mind for days.

“I get an impression that he may have imposed on Danny.” Steve grunted unhappily.

*

Steve weighed his opinions, and knew Danny would yell and get mad at him over this decision. He would get furious that Steve went behind his back and did such a stupid - Danny’s thought - thing. But he couldn’t sit on his hands and do nothing. So he just followed through his plan, acted after he made up his mind which led him storming into Eliot’s restaurant to confront him face to face. He needed to know the answer. Or rather he needed to know Danny would be safe with this man - God, he hated this idea of Danny being with this man. More precisely, the irrational part of his mind wished that he could just rip off the mask this man wore, and let Danny knew he was right about that Eliot was not that kind of man he let people think he was.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Commander McGarrett?" Eliot asked wryly.

"Who are you?” Steve asked bluntly.

"Huh, Danny's boyfriend?” Eliot smirked at him with the same challenging look he had when they met for the first time.

Steve grabbed his collars and this time Eliot didn't move. "Not a surprise Danny said you never cared about police procedures. You're way easy to lose your cool. So I ask you again very politely this time. To what do I owe the pleasure, Commander?" Eliot chuckled a little and whacked his hands away.

"What do you want from Danny?” Steve growled and glared at him.

"What kind of question is this? I want nothing from Danny, except sharing my life with him. What is your problem with it? You know I'd tell Danny everything about this conversation, right? That's how a relationship works. We talk about everything. We never hide a single thing from each other.” Eliot said innocently.

"Does Danny know who you are? That's... I don't believe you.” Steve sounded defeated and flustered which he'd never thought he could be.

"I have a question for you, maybe two. Doesn't matter. Does Danny know who you are?” Eliot asked him coldly and bluntly.

"Of course, we are partners. He knows everything about me.” Steve blurted out.

“Doesn’t seem so. Does he know you are a crazy man who is secretly in love with him and tries to intimidate his boyfriend just because you're wishing you are the one with him?”

"This has nothing to do with it.”

"Are you sure about that? You barge into my office, act like a lovesick teenager trying to scare away everyone near your crush. Believe me, you had your chance but you’ve missed your moment. Do you know what you want from Danny? You don't even have the balls to admit your feelings to yourself, how do you think you could make him happy? As far as I know, the only thing you did in the past few months is making Danny distressed and despondent. So just stay away from him and let him get his chance to have his happily ever after.” Eliot shrugged him off and said impatiently.

Steve was struck speechless, he can’t just give in. But he was so consumed by all kinds of the emotions which Eliot's accusation caused that he couldn't form a single thought much less any words.

Later when Steve slammed his way out, Eliot sat in his chair watching his retreating back and did not even flinch.

"By the way, we'll throw a barbecue party this weekend at my house. You are welcome, and bring your lady date. I know you got a lady friend after your therapy trip. I bet Danny has no idea of that. You should introduce the two of them.” He called out after him, smiled to himself after noticing Steve paused at the doorway for a second. He didn’t bother whether Steve heard out what he said. Danny would be the one to invite his teammates. He just enjoyed stabbing a knife into Steve’s heart now.

Eliot looked at his computer screen while Steve walked out of his restaurant. He finally understood the old saying about people getting stupid when they fell in love. Even more so, if they had to witness their loved ones being happy without them.

He suspected that after today's confrontation, even Steve had finally figured out his feelings, he wouldn't be able to man up and tell Danny. He would doubt himself and dare not to spill his secret feelings.

Talking about fixation. He had become more possessive than he’d ever thought he’d be able to. Steve McGarrett had never been able to understand the tinge of jealousy he felt when he thought about Danny’s protectiveness towards him. He had gotten Danny’s heart all these years without knowing it. And Danny had been biased towards him all the time. As far as Danny was concerned, everything came in second place to this Navy Seal every single time. He’d put him ahead of everything or everyone besides his kids. Eliot was jealous of that. He was jealous of McGarrett getting that even without having to do anything to earn it.

Eliot could tolerate this, but he didn't have to like it. Danny had become his salvation over the years. “Either you’re saved or you ain’t and the best thing to do about it is find out which and stick to it.” Eliot murmured to himself.

*

“Please tell me you didn't do something I told you not to.” Danny walked into his office and looked wiped out.

Steve seemed shifty and guilty. "You know I wouldn't see harm done to you, Danny!” Because he was not going to cop to the things he had done. That was ridiculous. If someone told him before he’d act like a lovesick teenager with their first crush, he’d probably laugh the shit off. But now he really didn’t want to discuss it with Danny.

“You look guilty. But I’m giving you a pass on this one. Only this one. Do not do that again. You should know me better than that. Do you think I'd be taken in by any of that hokum?” Danny accused.

"I'm sorry. Danny. I won't do that again."

"Is that the only reason you did this stupid thing?” Danny took a squint at him quizzically.

“I don’t know how to answer that question.” Steve bit his bottom lip and tried to remain calm.

"Okay. If you want to pull back and hide inside your shell, be my guest." Danny saw an emotion in Steve's eyes he could not put a name to. This was rare, since Danny had become fluent in Steve McGarrett and great at translating McGarrett into normal English. "But I want you to know besides Grace and Charlie you're the most important person to me, all right? Even there were so many things happened between us during these few months, and you still drive me crazy everyday, but you know you could tell me anything, literally anything and everything. Considering you do all kinds of crazy things on the daily basis, I assure you that you have already built up my level of tolerance."

A small smile spread on Steve's face while he processed Danny's words. This fear of losing Danny had made Steve appreciate how important Danny and Danny's presence in his life were. But now, looking at the crinkles at the edges of Danny’s eyes whenever he was smiling at him, Steve felt sure for the first time in his life that he wouldn’t be left behind alone in this world. Even everybody else in his life left him without hesitating for his sake, there would always be an exception. There would always be Danny who chose to stand by his side, looking out for him. Danny had become a part of him, he’d never be able to survive Danny’s absence in his life.

“Steve, nothing you say or do will scare me away. But please leave this thing with Eliot alone. It’s my life, my business. I understand you worry for me. But I know what I got myself into.”

Steve’s heart hurt at this while he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders after the meaning of what Danny said sank into him.

At least Danny would never leave me.

*

' _Steve!_ ' Danny was startled awake by his screaming of his partner's name in his dream. It was a dream in which he was crying Steve's name and feeling the sharp pain of loss. He was sweaty and breathing heavily, then he realized he was held tight by an arm across his waist and his back pressed against someone's chest.

He felt Eliot nuzzling the nape of his neck, licking and sucking his sensitive skin. Eliot's hand was sliding south and rubbing at Danny over his clinging boxers. He groaned and started panting. Eliot was satisfied at Danny’s breathy gasps and the way Danny couldn't help but buck up his hips automatically to seek more frictions.

He flipped Danny onto his back and pinned him down. Then he slid down the bed and shifted a little on his haunches. He flicked a glance at Danny who was all flushing and desperate for touching. He lowered his head and mouthed at the front of Danny’s boxers and it produced a harsh exhale from Danny. He pulled off his boxers and took it into his mouth as he watched Danny’s face, taking pleasure in how Danny arched his back up from the bed and moaned incoherent words.

After preparing Danny quickly, Eliot ripped the package open, rolled it on with his fingers and then he thrusted up. He sheathed himself slowly into Danny's hot body. He had to hold it there for a moment when he bottomed out, since he was so close, the feeling of Danny's tightness around him was too much. He could come right now just from the sight of Danny falling apart and looking so debauched because of him. He started rocking into him, pulling out halfway and pushing back in again.

He blanketed Danny’s naked body, keeping rolling his hips, licking at Danny’s lips and then sucked hard. He kissed Danny hungrily and roughly, swallowed his moans. He changed the angle of his thrusts, eliciting a yelp of cry from Danny. He did it again, and heard the moans the action had produced within his lover. He repeated it over and over until Danny was a whimpering mess.

“Eliot. Eli. Oh…” Danny was no longer able to form any coherent sentence.

Eliot stopped and lowered his body to catch Danny's lips. He bit the kiss swollen rosy lips and said, "you are mine." He gripped Danny's leaking shaft hard, hold it there waiting for Danny's response.

"Eli." Danny choked, "I'm yours. Please." 

Eliot started ramming into Danny mercilessly and couldn't help but let out a possessive and satisfied rumble as he'd been reminded that Danny was all fucked out because of him, that Danny was his and only he could take Danny this way. Being near Danny had been more intoxicating than he had originally thought. It had become a heady sensation that he’d never want to let go.

The morning was perfect. Eliot enjoyed every groan, every yelp he got from Danny. He watched Danny shudder under his body, murmur his name and collapse like a ruined maid. He felt the primal part of his brain rumble in pleasure of watching Danny trembling through his orgasm.

When Danny got a phone call that morning, he was still fucked out and sleepy and haggard with exhaustion. Danny rubbed his face, trying to get his mind clearer. “I can’t believe we got a case now.” He bemoaned.

*

Steve caught sight of the Camaro pulling up to the house, and a huge smile spread on his face. Then he saw Eliot was actually the one who was driving the car. His smile faltered. Steve tried to rearrange his facial features before anyone noticed what was going on. They got out of the car, and Eliot gave Danny a long kiss before he whispered something against his ear, and Danny turned red as a tomato. Steve didn’t want to think about what caused that blushing smile, but he wasn’t always in control of his thoughts. He seriously hoped it was not what he was thinking it was. He watched as Eliot handed Danny the key and ducked his head a little bit when he caught the sight of Steve watching them and shot him a smug smirk before he left. Steve felt his heart clenched by a grip so hard that he couldn’t breathe.

“You alright?” Steve asked casually as Danny walked towards him, and Danny was very sleepy, exhausted and debauched with his lips rosy and swollen, his hair disheveled and damnit he still managed to look very adorable and arousing to Steve.

“I’m not a morning person like you. Everything’s fine. Just tired.” Danny grumbled under his breath, and asked for the details. “What do we have?”

“Two children have been kidnapped. One is this family’s second son, and the other is his friend and classmate. It used to be the mother driving their son to school. But their daughter got a pretty bad cold, so she decided to stay at home taking care of their little girl and let the boy go to school with his friend.” Kono filled them in on the details.

“Who’s at the other child’s house?” Danny asked.

“Chin and Lou are there taking their statement.” Steve said.

“Okay, then let’s go talk with the mother.” Danny sighed. Steve knew cases involved with little children always hit close to home for Danny.

*

After spending a great part of that week in the house which was full of flu virus - yes, it turned out that little girl got a flu rather than a cold - waiting for the kidnapper to call for a ransom, the case finally was wrapped up without any casualty or injury. The kids were reunited with their parents and the members of the whole team were relived. They decided to go out for drink and washed that damn virus away with bottles of beer.

Danny was quiet that night. Steve understood that no matter what reason that suspect had in his mind, his partner was upset to see a little kid get hurt. He tried to comfort him, but Danny just remained broody and moody.

When Danny finally spoke, he looked at Steve seriously and said, “I need you to promise me, if anything happens to me, you’ll take care of Grace and Charlie.”

Steve was startled. The thought of losing Danny was too hurt to bear, but he nodded nonetheless. He knew how important Grace and Charlie meant to Danny. He appreciated how much Danny must trust him that he’d ask Steve to look after his kids if any tragedy would befall him. So he just took his partner’s hands, squeezed them gently and nodded.

People around them always said it was rather annoying that the two of them talked with minute facial expressions and body movements, or sometimes they didn’t even say a single word, while it looked like they’d been talking for hours. They understood each other so well that they didn’t really need a word.

*

Steve lay on his bed that night, tossing and turning, brooding over Danny’s words.

_There are no competitors you have to best. You are my partner. I trust you with my life, and with my kids’ lives. We’ve been through a lot during these years. I don’t want to destroy it. The past few months have been hard on both of us. I get that you feel hurt and you are angry. But don’t forget this, I won’t leave you behind._

_We can't go through life alone, babe. Even your entire life seems to be crumbling around you, I’m still here by your side. I have flied across half of the world to your side, why do you think I will leave you behind just because those damn people in your life kept leaving you?_

_Babe, you don’t know you already have those things that mean the most to me, do you? Maybe you should work harder to remember that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make sure that Danny only calls Steve 'babe'. He called Eliot 'Eliot', 'Eli', 'man' or other things.


	7. More Than I Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny went to nurse an ill Steve.  
> Steve was more like a clingy baby seal than a Super SEAL when he was ill.  
> And Danny forgot to check in with his boyfriend as he'd promised!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter before Eliot went into all evil mode.

Livin' with me, it ain't easy  
But I do it every day  
Sometimes even now  
I wanna run away  
But there you are  
You're tryin' to please me  
Yeah you stand your ground  
It's more than I deserve

I've taken more than I've been given  
I've taken for granted this life I'm livin'  
I don't know why heaven above  
Blessed me with your sweet love  
Though I never tell you what you're worth  
It's more than I deserve

It's just your style to wear a smile  
Oh baby you wear it well  
If I had my way, I'd dress you in nothin' else  
So come on here and lay down, a little while  
'Cause you right now  
You're more than I deserve

Lyrics of More Than I Deserve 

 

Danny walked into HQ that morning, humming to himself. He almost felt he was happy. For the first time in a very long time. He'd thrown a party on Saturday night at which Steve hadn't shown up. He had been worried a little but assured by their friends that Steve was fine and he might have another plan involving a lady friend he'd met after their couples' therapy. He should have felt happy for his partner for he finally moved on from Catherine. But his heart had been a traitor and ached a lot. He felt ashamed for it and tried to remind himself that he needed to be a decent gentleman as he should have been. 

He had spent the weekend with Grace and Charlie. They’d enjoyed their time together and Charlie had been doing great. There was nothing like a little father-kids bonding time to heal a soul. Nothing could make him stupidly happier than him seeing his children healthy and joyous. After he dropped them at Rachel’s, he’d even been able to act like a civilized person and bid her goodbye. He was very proud of himself for doing that. After the quality time with his precious kids, he’d had a passionate night with Eliot. Danny blushed at the memory. He noticed that he had slept at Eliot's home more frequent than before and Eliot had become a little more possessive. But Eliot had assured him that he only wanted to have more time with Danny. He'd teased that it was not his fault that Danny was so irresistible that he could not get enough of Danny. Danny'd been flattered and his face had crimsoned. 

He'd even had time to see Eliot off at the airport this morning before work. Eliot had to fly to New York to attend to some business things, get some papers signed and then he’d come back to him. They promised they’d make phone calls and send messages whenever they’d have time. Despite these few time zones between them, they’d still check in with each other, which made Danny contented. Even Danny had never been a romantic person, and definitely not a lovesick teenager, he still loved the thought of being the focus of another human being, as if he meant the world to him. And he absolutely could get used to this.

He stopped by Steve's office and found his partner was not inside. It was strange. Steve was always the first to arrive at work and having no sign of him after nine am was absolutely wrong. "Kono! Do you know where Steve is?" Danny called out. Him and Steve had been trying to work out their problems lately. He'd told Steve his feelings these days, especially after the kidnapping case. He felt they almost went in the right direction now. It had been trying for months, but the situation was definitely getting better. So one of the shrinks he had saw may have been right about his fixation on Steve. The disguised advice of having regular sex might have been helpful too. He hated to admit it but it might have made him more tolerant and less fixed on Steve. Danny felt himself uncomfortably embarrassed.

"Steve called Chin earlier, said he doesn't feel well and wants to take the day off." Kono shouted back from her office.

Okay. That explained a lot. But why hadn't he call him? Danny felt his stomach leap slightly. Thought we are getting better. Danny shoved the thought away and decided not to think about it. Just let the guy have his time. No need to fuss about it. He resisted the urge to call Steve, and reminded himself that the last time he tried to make sure everything was alright with Steve, he only got yelled at. So let the super seal take care of himself. No need to be worried about a ninja.

Danny kept telling himself this the whole day. 

The next morning Danny walked into HQ and went straight to Steve's office only to find an empty room. "Have you guys heard anything from Steve?" He asked his colleagues worriedly.

"He sent me a text saying he's not going to be in today." Chin told him. “Or maybe a few days in the future.”

"Okay. Just great. I'm his partner, and he told you or Kono if he's not in for work." Danny felt frustrated. 

"Brah, he doesn't want you to worry about him. You know that, right?" Chin patted his shoulder to make the point.

"And now I'm more worried than before." Danny muttered under his breath. “He’s not kidnapped by someone this time, is he?”

"No, he may just get ill. The little girl's flu looked pretty bad. He may come down with that."

"Okay. I thought he is a super something who has some kind of super power including a super immune system which probably could kill every kind of viruses on earth. It seemed that I got that terribly wrong." Danny mumbled uncomfortably. 

The cousins bursted out laughter and waved at him dismissively. "Stop pacing the room. Just go to check on him, brah. We'll call you if we need you." Chin and Kono gave each other the meaningful looks and shooed him.

*

“Steve?”

Someone was calling him. Was he dreaming? Steve tried to roll over but he couldn’t move. He groaned. He wanted to open his eyes, but the daylight hurt his eyes. Not only the eyes, he felt hurt everywhere. Every muscle, every joint. They were screaming at him.

“Steve!”

Did he start hallucinating? It sounded like Danny. Oh, Danny. His Danny. He hadn’t heard that concerned voice for quite some days. It was always soothing. Danny’s voice had been able to calm him many times when he was in pain before. It had saved him from sinking into the dark voidness before. He missed that voice. He missed his Danny badly. 

“Babe, you’re burning and sweaty.” He felt someone put a hand on his forehead and stroke his hair. It felt so good. He cracked open his eyes and found Danny was there, staring down at him. Danny’s gaze went soft the moment they locked their eyes. 

“Danny.” He tried to give him a reassuring smile, but found Danny furrowed his brows. 

“Did you eat anything these days? Did you take any medicine?” Danny asked him, looking very concerned. 

“No. Can’t get up. It’s pathetic.” Steve mumbled, squirming a little under Danny’s gaze.

“You know, normal people gets sick. That doesn’t make them think less of themselves. Okay, I forgot whom I’m speaking to. Of course you feel being sick unacceptable. I figure Super SEAL doesn’t get ill. But now I’m going to heat up some soup and believe me you don’t want to take medicine on an empty stomach.” Danny kept stroking his arm lightly, and Steve sighed in contentment and wanted to lean in that touch. 

“Love you, Danno.” Steve managed to mutter these words before falling asleep again. He felt safe and less miserable now. Even the dreams were not haunting any more.

"Love you too, babe." 

*

Steve felt like he had just closed his eyes and dropped off to sleep when someone nudged him awake. He rubbed his eyes before opened them. Danny was sitting on the bed beside him, looking at him affectionately. Or was he imagining things? Could Danny look at him affectionately?

He helped Steve sit up and lean against the headboard before he set the tray on his lap. There was a bowl of chicken noodle soup on it. Steve grabbed the spoon and ate it. He didn't realize he was starving before he started eating. He hadn't get off the bed for more than two days and only consumed some water. The empty bottles scattered around on the floor must have been cleared away by Danny. He didn't want Danny to see him like this, vulnerable and weak, but when he was like this, Danny was the only person he trusted and could give him comfort. 

After he finished the soup, Steve took the pills from Danny, held the bottled water and swallowed them while Danny was watching him. He made a face and Danny just shook his head but grinned fondly at him.

"I was thinking about a cool clothe. But I feel a hot bath would be better. I am gonna run you one and add some herbal oil I got you on my way here. It'll help. You're clammy."

Steve winced at the mention of herbal oil and gave him those ridiculous puppy eyes, but Danny had been a father for more than a decade. He had learnt to be immune to those pitiful looks which Grace perfected. So Danny just stared him down, but couldn't help feeling Steve's puppy eyes so cute.

“I don’t wanna have a bath.” Steve grumbled.

“It’s good for you. And I need to change the sheets and find you some clean clothes.”

“I don’t like bath.” Steve pouted, but let Danny help him get up and lead him into the bathroom. 

“You still have the energy to argue with me? That’s a good sign.” Danny glanced at Steve and asked incredulously. He put the lid down on the toilet and sat Steve on it before he went to run the hot water into the tub.

“I’m not arguing. You are the one arguing all the time.” Steve looked at him through his half-lidded eyes. “‘m still dressed, Danno.” He pointed out a few minutes later.

Danny was squatting beside the tub and feeling the temperature of the water when he heard Steve grumbling. “Can’t you undress yourself, super Steve?”

“Nah. Can’t move my arms.” Steve said innocently.

“I know you are going to be the death of me." Danny stood up and turned back only to find a blushing Steve busy studying the tiled floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. His ears had turned into a shade of pink. Danny sighed. A man who knew more than ten ways to kill a person with one paperclip shouldn’t be this cute. It should be illegal. 

Danny pulled Steve up and started to undress him. It was really hard for him not to check Steve out, especially when this man was blushing adorably. He helped Steve settle into the water and turned off the tap. “Don’t fall asleep.” He said to Steve.

“You don’t wanna keep me company?” Steve asked groggily. 

“I’m going to change the sheets and find you some clean clothes, like I told you.” Without even looking at him, Danny was sure Steve was pouting. He sighed again knowing he couldn’t resist this look. 

“How about this? You behave yourself, try not to get drowned and I’ll be back before you notice it. And I’ll even rub your back and wash your hair.” Danny talked to Steve the same way he used to talk to Grace when she was little and ill. “Deal?”

Steve grinned at him in a cute goofy way which only meant "l'm a super trustworthy SEAL" and replied, "Deal, Danno." 

*

When Danny came back with a pair of sweatpants and tee shirt in his arms, he was relieved to see Steve was still awake and less terrible than before. He put down the clothes and squatted down beside the tub. "Okay, big boy. Let me give you a massage while the water is still hot." 

Steve smiled at him shyly and moved a little to give Danny more room. 

Danny dipped his hands into the water to warm them up before putting them on Steve's back. It might hurt a little, if Steve's quiet groans were anything to go by, but soon the sore muscles gave away. Steve moaned contentedly, as he leaned in Danny's hands more. Danny grabbed the bottle of shampoo and worked up a good lather. He scrubbed Steve’s head gently and then washed the suds away. Steve began to feel relaxed and his eyelids heavy. Danny sensed that he was about to doze off and stood up to get the clothes and towel ready at hand.

Then he drained the water and helped Steve out of the tub. Steve seemed unable to keep the balance and almost fell over. Danny caught him by his waist and ended up half-soaked. After drying him with a fluffy towel, Danny tossed it into the hamper, put the clean clothes on Steve and led him back to the bedroom. 

*

"You have a thing against my working suit, don't you?" Danny jabbed Steve lightly.

Steve gave him a shy smile and mumbled, “why don't you change into some of my clothes? They're more comfortable.”

"You did this on purpose, right?" Danny helped him into the bed and pulled the sheet up to cover him. Steve grinned triumphantly and gestured for Danny to get into bed with him. Danny gave him a glare, tried to be stern but failed terribly. He shed his half-soaked clothes, put on a pair of Steve's sweatpants and didn't even bother to grab a tee shirt for himself before he crawled onto the bed gingerly. 

Danny reached over to feel Steve’s forehead first. It was still warm but not as overly so as earlier. “I’ll take your temperature later, if your fever pikes again.” Danny said to him and lay down. Steve scooted to him immediately. He nestled against Danny’s side, and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. 

Danny sighed. It was too comfortable. It felt so right to snuggle against Steve like this when it was possibly wrong in every way, but Danny didn’t want to think about it right now. He just wanted to lie there, bask in the feeling of the man he’d been in love with for years pressed up against him. Until he gets better. Danny told himself.

* 

During the night, Steve's temperature went up again and Danny could feel the heat radiating off him while he was shivering uncontrollably. Danny waked him up gently and gave him another dose of fever reducer and had him drink a bottle of water. Then he helped him go to the bathroom. Danny was relieved that Steve was only half conscious now. It saved both of them from the embarrassment. After cleaning Steve up swiftly, Danny almost carried him back to the bedroom. He put Steve in his bed and went to the closet to find a blanket for him. Danny tucked the sheets and blanket around him, caressed his face fondly and crawled into bed. Steve was still shivering under the layers of sheets and blanket, but he moved towards Danny at once without even gaining full consciousness. Danny reached out his arms and pulled Steve closer to him. He held him tight against his own body, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. Danny decided to stay awake, afraid Steve's fever would get any worse. Much to Danny's relief, the pills kicked in eventually. Steve stopped shivering and squirming restlessly. His breath went even while he buried his face against Danny's chest. He mumbled something almost unintelligible in the dream. Danny barely caught the words when he murmured "in love with you Danny." Danny was struck speechless. He didn’t know what to make of it. He finally decided to move on. He finally decided to get over Steve. And now he heard Steve say he was in love with him.

This was not true. He was ill. He didn’t mean it. He wouldn't even remember what he did or said tonight. 

Danny told himself to let it go. It had happened before. Steve said something touching. Danny’s heart swelled at it. The next morning, nothing changed. Steve refused to talk about it and pretended nothing happened. 

Danny had been tired of it happening again and again. Danny had been tired of being hurt again and again. He had made his decision. He would leave after Steve got better. 

*

Danny didn’t know when he drifted off. He found it was still early morning when he woke up the next day. Steve was sleeping soundly beside him. He wrapped his long limbs around Danny as if he was scared that Danny would leave him when he was asleep. The sheets and blanket were rumpled around Steve’s waist. He was clammy. His breath was no longer hot from his fever. Steve stirred awake and held Danny a little tighter when Danny tried to extricate one of his arms from the octopus hug. Danny caressed his back soothingly and whispered into his ear, “I’m not leaving, babe. I just try to feel your head.” Steve relaxed a little and mumbled in his dreamy voice. “Don’t leave me, Danno. I love you. You are all I have.” Danny’s heart flipped. He slid his arms around Steve, “Shh, ‘m not leaving.” “Danno.” Steve choked on his sobs. 

Danny never thought Steve was this emotionally vulnerable when he was ill. Maybe it was just the fever. But Danny was still heartbroken to see Steve like this. It suddenly occurred to Danny that these were the exact moments Steve would let his defenses down and it was the only moment that this emotionally stunted super SEAL would express in such a stupid childlike way that Danny could see into his head and heart. It was almost funny though, Danny thought to himself, that he finally appreciated the reason Steve acted like a clingy baby to him whenever he got injured or ill even without realizing it himself. 

“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re not that warm like yesterday. ’m gonna make you some breakfast. ’m not leaving you, babe.” 

Moments later, while he was preparing their breakfast, Danny was shocked to find he'd left his phone on the kitchen counter last day after he sent Chin a quick text telling them Steve went down with the flu as they thought he did and he'd took care of him. Danny felt a pang of guilty in his chest that there were several missed calls and unread texts from Eliot. He couldn't believe he forgot his boyfriend completely. But right now, he was torn by the guilty he felt for neglecting his boyfriend and his ignorance of the unbelievably subtle way in which Steve expressed his understanding of the importance of Danny’s presence in his life. It was not his fault actually, Danny thought. It would only seem to be reasonable or understandable for a warped mind such as Steve’s. Beside that, he’d never admit it as soon as he got well, Danny added. Still unsettled, Danny absent-mindedly poured away most of the coffee before he tasted it. It would be a long day, and he definitely needed caffeine to survive it. 

Taking the breakfast upstairs, Danny was still clueless how to face Steve’s clinginess. And Steve didn’t make it easy in any possible way. The more unbelievable thing was that Steve demanded spoiling due to being sick. Although Danny didn't pretend that he didn't find a pouting Steve adorable, the level of his internal struggle cranked to 11. That was when Danny found the whole thing more troubling than he admitted. 

*

Danny's hair was mussed from a restless night but Steve loved he looked like that, it always made him want to stroke his hands through the blond hair. Maybe to mess it up a little just to get a rise out of Danny. 

It was easy to pretend they were in fact in a relationship while seeing Danny take great care of him and make sure he would get well soon. If anything, it gave him a tiny sliver of hope. It let him imagine what a domestic life with Danny would be like. It exhilarated him while it made him want more. Even the studied denial wouldn't get his longing for Danny at bay as it had. He held onto the hope like a lifeline. That was what he would try to believe when Danny would rant at him as before and let him drive his car without a word of complaint, or would still lean into Steve’s touches or give Steve his own without even realizing it. That was what Steve forced himself to think on a daily basis. He knew he wouldn’t survive a day if he admitted the possibility that he had lost Danny entirely.

*

“Do you have to head in?” After finished his soup, Steve asked Danny in a voice too soft to be a tough SEAL’s.

Danny came around to sit next to him and felt his head. “Yeah, I think so. You feel better now. I have loads of paperwork to do. And I have to do my boss’s paperwork too.” Danny teased. “So I guess I have no choice.” 

Steve pouted at this, “you have a bad boss.”

“Tell me about it.” Danny chuckled. “I’ll try to take off earlier and get home to make you dinner. Okay? I left your lunch in the refrigerator. Be good, super SEAL. Take some rest. I’ll be home earlier than you’d like it.”

“I’d rather you stay with me.” Steve made an effort to hide his contentment in Danny seeing this place as home. 

“Don’t be a big baby. I’ll be back before you feel it.” Like it was the most natural thing in the world, Danny leaned in and landed a soft kiss on his forehead. Their eyes widened at the same time. Steve felt like the most blessed person in the world for the first time in his whole life. He wanted to have more mornings like this, having Danny sit at his bed and talk to him softly. He could almost imagine a future where having breakfast with Danny was simply a common way to begin a new day.

*

"Thank you, Danny."

"Don't be silly. I am expecting that you will do the same when I get ill or injured next time. You'll do that, right?"

"Of course! I will do anything for you!"

"See, you'll just do the same thing. But I won't keep thanking you. I will just order you to wait on me hand and foot. Boss you around." Danny waved his hands to mimic a bossy master who had his own slave. It made Steve chuckle and Danny couldn't help but grin back at him.

"Whatever you want.” Steve murmured shyly with his face and ears tinged with red and gave Danny his best beam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right. Steve's brain supplied him with many inappropriate images of Danny ordering him around and doing some unspeakable things with him.


	8. Lucky Few

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Steve got carried away when they were in shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter.  
> Sorry guys. I was engrossed in a Thorki fanfic. That was too hilarious. I was laughing the whole day. So it got a little hard to get back into the dark evil mode.  
> But Steve finally decided to talk it out with Danny.

I never did have anything,  
I never wanted much anyway.  
I never learned how to play the game  
Like the lucky few. 

I was in love but it fell apart,  
I never cared much from the start,  
And now I keep my distance  
From those happy hearts of the lucky few.

Lyrics of Lucky Few 

 

“Danny, you didn’t answer you phone nor reply my texts.” Eliot's voice was full of concern.

“Sorry, Eliot.” Danny stammered a little. “It’s… It was… Steve was pretty ill with the flu. He got nobody to take care of him. So I went to make sure he didn’t die from a stupid flu virus. I’m sorry I forgot to call you.”

I’d always known that it had been about Steve all the time. It was always about Steve McGarrett, wasn’t it, Danny? He was the number one on your list. You forgot who you belonged to, didn’t you? You forgot who you were with now, didn't you?

“That’s all right, Danny. I just got worried. You didn’t keep in touch as we planned, I got those scary imagination run wild. I thought you got injured.” Eliot said in a soothing voice.

“Oh, dear God. I’m so sorry for worrying you. Nothing bad happened.” Danny was more ashamed that he had gotten his boyfriend worried about him while he was so engrossed in taking care of Steve. It was not right. He just got used to Steve being his priority. He forgot now he had another intimate person he needed to think about. He forgot he had a boyfriend to think about now. Steve shouldn't be the number one on his concern list now. 

“Will you pick me up at the airport tomorrow? I got some gifts for our cowboy.” Eliot chuckled from the other end of the line.

“That’s really sweet, Eliot. You know you don’t have to buy him gifts.”

“Dear, I want to give that little man everything. I love him.”

“Thank you. Really. You are more than I deserve.”

“Never say that, Danny. You are everything I have wished for.” And I would make sure that you keep in mind that I should mean everything to you. Made you never forget that. 

 

*

"You Neanderthal! Why did you have to do this?!" Danny growled at Steve while grabbed a towel and walked into the changing cubicle. "Did you really need to tussle and tackle them in the mud? Look at us! We are covered with filthy mud! I don't understand why I put up with you!"

"We got them, Danno, don't be upset!" Steve said. “Just take a shower. You’ll be clean and shine.”

“You enjoyed it. Right? You are certifiable.” Danny’s voice sounded far away and Steve heard he turn on the water. He shed off his own clothes and took his towel with him. 

“Danny, you forgot your shampoo.” Steve held the caddy and was about to throw it to Danny. He caught sight of some bruises on Danny’s hips and ass while his partner was touching absentmindedly his tender skin. He froze in his tracks. His eyes widened at this. 

The hot water was sluicing over Danny who got startled and snapped his head around. Now Steve saw more marks and bruises on his perfect body. Danny’s sopping wet blond hair had been slicked back from his face, but water streamed down from the strands that were plastered against Danny’s neck. Steve felt like getting a punch to the gut. His heart was like being clenched by a hard grip.

“What happened?” Steve took a few steps closer to Danny. Danny looked uncomfortably embarrassed. They stood under the scalding spray. He landed his hands on Danny’s body carefully, afraid that he may hurt him. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, of course not.” Danny answered a second too quickly, his voice totally unconvincing. “We got a little carried away when he got back. That’s all.” He turned his face away, face blushing pink. “It’s nothing. We didn’t see each other for a few days when he was back in mainland. So it got a little heated.” Danny almost spluttered.

“Danny.” Steve stroked Danny’s bruised skin gently, tracing the marks and sliding over his ass. He cupped Danny’s ass and kneaded it slightly, Danny yelped in pain. Steve’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I’m alright.” Danny sighed. “Nothing’s wrong.” Danny looked away, avoiding any eye-contact with Steve.

Steve caressed those bruises softly, glanced down and found Danny’s muscles tense and his cock was burgeoning quickly as Steve watched. 

Steve’s gaze flicked up at Danny’s face, he saw color high on his cheekbones and pinking the tips of his ears. Steve put one hand on Danny’s face, he turned his partner’s head gently and caught sight of the blue intensity. Steve’s eyes were locked on his partner’s moistened mouth, and he found he couldn’t look away, like it was the most enchanting thing he had ever seen. Danny's teeth were almost digging into his lower lip to keep him from making a sound, to hold back everything he'd wanted to tell Steve.

“Don’t bite your lip. Don’t hurt yourself.” Steve ran his thumb along Danny’s lower lip slowly and affectionately. He didn’t register he was moving towards Danny, until he pressed against Danny’s body running his hands up and down his back softly. “God, Danny. You are so beautiful. I want you so much. I dreamed about you. The dreams are nothing compared to you like this. Look at you. God. You are gorgeous.”

He lowered his head and caught Danny’s lips. He licked them and their bodies were pressed together. He felt his hard member jutting up, pointing against Danny’s body. Their cocks found one another, their hips moving tentatively. They breathed into each other. Danny throw his head back with a groan, his eyes closed in pleasure. Steve watched him as if he was mesmerized. 

Danny opened his eyes, and started taking deep breathes, his pupils huge and black with lust, a flicker of guilt in his eyes. “Steve babe.” His moans stuttered, and his voice took on that slightly strangled quality that made Steve’s cock stir in anticipation. “Babe. We shouldn’t.” Steve felt his chest a little too tight. He leaned in and caught Danny’s swollen lips again. Danny groaned into his mouth. 

Steve felt his cheeks heat, his body flush and his cock weeping. He pressed harder against Danny, pushing him onto the wall. The scalding spray was still running down. Steve put his mouth to all that slick skin. Danny gasped, his breath coming out in short huffs. “Babe, we…” His other words were swallowed by Steve’s mouth.

Steve took both of them in his hand, wrapping his long fingers around them. He slid them in one long thrust, both of them sighed into it. He tightened his grip suddenly. Danny keened and felt he was going to shatter from the inside out. He gave up and let Steve’s hand stroke them up and down. “Oh, fuck.” Danny’s breath came in sharp desperate pants and he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. He closed his eyes to feel Steve. Only Steve mattered now. Only Steve had mattered to him for so long.

“I’ve got you.” Steve whispered in Danny’s ear, his breath made the hair on Danny’s neck stand on end. He twisted his wrist, fingers slipping on Danny’s shaft and thumb pressing under the head. He couldn’t get enough of the noises Danny was making. “I’ve got you. Danny.” 

Danny’s fingers dipped into Steve’s back, he became breathless and his chest heaving. He shuddered and arched his back, his thighs shaking as he spurted between them. “Oh, Danny. You are beautiful.” His partner’s whimpering sounds and the slick slide of their cocks alone were enough to push Steve over the edge. Within seconds, Steve came all over his hand. He buried his head against Danny’s damp hair, “Danny, Danny. I love you.” His hips were still rolling slowly, his legs trembling. His whole body threatened to go limp.

Before they came down from their orgasms, the steaming water had already washed away their sticky come. 

Steve smoothed his hands over Danny’s hips. “The bruises look bad. Do they hurt?” He rubbed Danny’s skin gently, the other hand settling on Danny’s ass. 

“Not very much.” Danny sighed and pushed his body away from Steve. “Sorry, I should go.” Steve tried to circle his arms around Danny’s waist to stop him, but Danny stepped away from him. He grabbed his towel from the floor and left. 

*

Steve sagged against the wall. His eyes were hazed. He wanted to say something, but the words didn’t get out of his mouth. He watched his partner leave and the images of those bruises on Danny’s body were keeping showing up in his mind. He smacked on the wall, turned off the water and ran out to find Danny. He needed to talk with him. He couldn’t just let it go and pretend nothing happened. 

When he rushed into HQ, he was told Danny said he had something to take care of and had left for home. Steve’s heart sank with desperation. He called him, but it went to voicemail directly. “Danny, we need to talk. Please, pick up the damn phone.” He shouted into his cellphone. 

Chin arched his brow at him, the unspoken words hanging in the air: “What’s going on?”

“I have to go. Call me if you need me.” A wave of panic gripped Steve. What had he done to Danny? Would Danny forgive him? He’d craved for him too long too much. He could no longer stand the thought of Danny being taken roughly and getting hurt. He had lost his control. He couldn't think straight then. He had felt infuriated and hurt when he saw the bruises on Danny's body. And now, where did they stand? If Danny hadn't refused in the shower, did that mean he got a shot to be with Danny? Did that mean that Danny may feel the same way? He needed to come to Danny and pull him into his arms. He couldn’t lose him. Again. He couldn’t lose him especially after what had happened. He had imagined what it would be like to have Danny in his arms, pressed against his chest, mumble his name and come between them. He had dreamed of that so many times. But this was one million times better than anything he could have fantasized about. He’d known he wanted Danny, and now he was absolutely certain of it. 

He needed to tell Danny there was no one loved him more than Steve did or would do. He was willing to and would love to spend his life with Danny, and only Danny. He loved to have a family with Danny and Grace and Charlie. He loved to take care of them with Danny. He wanted to grow old with Danny and hear Danny bitching about everything he’d do when they would be 90 years old, when they would be surrounded by their grandchildren and be laughed at by them, because their grand-dads would be the most interesting and silly old married couple in the world. There would be so many things he wanted to do with Danny. There would be so many places he wanted to go with Danny. He would still be the pathetic lonely soldier if Danny hadn’t shown up in his life. He might have been lost or might have lost his life already without Danny by his side. He could have been the most blessed man already by now, if he had understood how important Danny meant to him sooner. It had not been his career in the Navy, or Cath, or anyone, anything what grounded him and kept him safe and warm in his heart. It had always been Danny who would never leave him alone, would never abandon him. His Danny, the one who had always made those hurtful things in his life bearable; the one who had always given him something to hope for in order for him to hop out of bed each morning; the one who had ensured from the day they met that Steve had a life worth living.

He had so many things to tell Danny. He needed to tell him that he loved him. He needed to tell Danny that he was stupid that he hadn't realized that he had been in love with Danny for a long time, in fact as long as Danny had been in love with him. He needed to apologize to Danny for all the stupid things he had done, for causing Danny so many pains in those years. He needed to promise and assure Danny that from now on the only thing he wanted was to make Danny the happiest man in the world. He’d tell Danny he wanted him and wanted to be with him. 

Steve pulled his car up to Danny’s apartment. He jumped out of his car, took a deep breath and ran up to Danny’s apartment door. He was not afraid anymore. He didn’t want to hide and watch Danny from afar. There would be no one as him who would sacrifice his own life so Danny could have his. There would be no one as him who would give up everything to make sure Danny was loved and cared for. No one would love Danny more wholeheartedly than he would do. He had wasted so many years in fear that his feelings for Danny were wrong, in fear that he might risk his friendship with Danny if anything would go wrong. But Danny was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was the only one who cared about Steve and was willing to stay with him after he had seen him for who Steve really was. Danny had become like air to him. Danny had become a huge part of himself. There would be no Steve McGarrett if there was no Danny Williams.

He reached up and tapped on the door. There was no response. Danny wasn’t home. Steve’s heart sank. The panic started settling at the pit of Steve’s stomach. 

He needed to find Danny and tell him he finally understood what real love was. Real love was hard. It was risky. Sometime it would break your heart, but you had to take that chance, because that was worth it. 

He needed to tell Danny now he was willing to open himself up to the risk. He had found the courage to accept the risk now. He had understood what a relationship meant. And even it meant it was fraught with potential missteps and uncertainty, he’d had the courage to take it for Danny, for them.

He needed to find Danny. Now.


	9. Rattlesnake Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart to heart, but in a very unexpected place. 
> 
> A big showdown was looming ahead.

It's been a long time  
Since I wore this rattlesnake smile  
And a lotta my friends haven't seen it in quite a while  
I feel my eyes rollin' deep inside my head  
And there's a feeling of misconception in the air  
Yeah, I'm startin' to see  
Yeah, I do believe  
I used to have a soft southern glowing face  
I used to leave my heartaches with the chase  
When you get stung with the heart of a little child  
Well, that's how you get that rattlesnake smile  
You better keep your distance  
In this tangled shape I'm in  
Now no one had better touch me right now  
In this cold-blooded thick skin  
Oh I said you better run real fast  
When you hear that rattlin' sound  
Well, you better run real fast, man,  
Or this one's gonna knock you down 

Lyrics of Rattlesnake Smile

 

Steve's phone was ringing. He grabbed it and answered without looking at the screen, "Danny! Where are you? We need to talk!"

"It's me." Chin's voice came over, "we got a case."

"Did you reach Danny? He didn't answer my calls."

"Yes. And I sent him the address. He said he'd be there in 15."

"Give me the address. We'll meet there."

*

Danny could feel the warm blood seeping through his stripe shirt. It became more difficult to focus by second, but he still saw Steve rush to him. He knelt down by his side, put more pressure on his wounds. Danny felt his eyelids heavy. He grabbed Steve’s hand and said, “take care of Grace and Charlie.” That was the last thing he could do before he lost his consciousness, though he thought - he really thought - he heard Steve screaming his name in panic. “Danny! Danny! Do not die on me! We take care of them together. Danny! Don’t die. I love you Danny. I can’t live without you. Danny!” Then there was silence and void. 

The first time Danny gained his consciousness, or half consciousness, he still couldn't open his eyes. But he could feel someone was taking his hand, holding it and thumbing it softly. He heard someone whimpering to him and sobbing. He felt his hand was held up and someone's warm lips on it. Then he drifted into dark void again.

The next time Danny finally came to himself, it was a few days later. He felt like he had been run over by a truck. It hurt everywhere. 

Danny opened his eyes slowly. The first thing came into focus was Steve slumbering in a chair in an awkward position beside his hospital bed. “Babe.” He croaked. Steve wake up immediately. He looked exhausted, with several days worth of stubble, and the dark circles under his eyes which indicated the sleepless nights. “You’re awake, Danny.” He took Danny’s hand, eyes welling with tears. 

“What happened?” 

“We got caught up in the gunfires. You got hit in the chest. I thought I lost you.” Steve’s voice was raspy from exhaustion and concern. 

“Um, always thought that was the kind of thing which only happened to you.” Danny tried to make light of it. He even managed a smile to comfort his partner.

The first semblance of a smile spread across Steve’s face. “Ha. Very funny. Danno.” Danny tried to beam back at him but only hissed in pain. “How're you feeling?” Steve stroked his hand and asked him.

“My head is fuzzy and I feel sore everywhere. How long have I been out?”

“Three days.” Steve didn’t say much about it, but there was a crease of worry between his eyebrows.

Danny started in surprise but hissed again. “Sorry for worrying you, babe.” Steve ran his hand up and down his arm gently trying to ease the pain.

“Don’t ever throw yourself in front of the bullet which was meant for me.” Steve furrowed his brows and chided him.

“Well, I have your back. That’s my job, right? And I suspect that you just used your super SEAL power or something like that to condition me into doing this kind of crazy things.” Danny smiled at him slightly.

“Not funny, Danny. I’ve got zero interest in doing this alone without you. If you try to make me I’ll follow you wherever you go, by that I mean even the afterlife.” Steve’s voice was very stern and serious.

“Wow, wow. Slow down a bit. How about your promise of taking care of my kids if anything happens to me?”

“We take care of them together. I love you. I went to your place that day but you were not there. I was looking for you everywhere and trying to tell you that before we got called out by the case. I love you Danny.”

“Love you too, buddy.”

“No, Danny. I love you.” Steve looked in his eyes, waited for the meaning to sink in.

There was a brief pause. “Oh.” Danny looked at him in confusion for a moment before the realization dawned on his face. “Oh! Sorry, babe. You know I’m in a relationship, right?” 

“Was.”

“What?” Danny couldn't get the surprise out of the voice. He tried to sit up, but Steve landed his hands gently on him to prevent him from changing his position and getting his wounds open accidentally.

“Eliot left,” he told Danny as nonchalantly as he could.

“What do you mean he left?” Danny frowned and then winced in pain.

“We had a conversation when you were out.”

"Please tell me you didn't pick a fight with him."

"He hurt you. I can't see you get hurt and do nothing."

"Bebe, I told you we got carried away," Danny sighed. "Yes, we got some little problems."

"Little?" Steve exclaimed.

"I was going to have a talk with him that night. I felt terrible and guilty that I had been neglecting his feelings and put you above everything almost every time even he is my boyfriend. So maybe that was why I just let that happen. But I was going to talk with him and sort things out. Especially after what happened in the shower, I got more ashamed of what I did to him."

"Danny, it was not your fault! He got violent and abusive to you! He hurt you. And I took advantage of you when you were emotionally vulnerable. It was my fault. If you need someone to blame. But I love you. I don't regret it. My only regret is I didn't notice I have been in love with you, in fact as long as you have been in love with me. That's my only regret. If I could find it out sooner, if I could get my courage to admit it sooner, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

Danny closed his eyes. He looked pale and exhausted. "I know it was not right. I just couldn't forgive myself then."

"Danny." Steve squeezed his hand slightly. "You didn't know how furious I was when I saw those bruises."

“I can only imagine it." Danny paused. "And what else did you do other than you had a real hand to hand fight with him? Tell me You did not get that shiner from that, did you? What else did you do?”

“I told him I love you with all my heart. I won't let anyone hurt you. He said he knew that.” Steve paused, trying to get the right words to continue. “He told me he knew you’re in love with me the whole time. But he took the risk nonetheless, hoping I’d never find out my feelings or I’d never have enough courage to speak up and get the words out."

Danny didn’t speak. Steve took it as an encouragement to go on. “He said since I’d man up and make up my mind about us, he’d never have the chance to be with you. He said he had been aware recently that you’d always be biased towards me, and you’d never be happy with anyone other than me. So he decided to leave.” Steve sighed in relief. He told Danny his feelings for him. At last. 

“What does that mean? Biased?”

“Maybe he means you totally forgetting your dinner date with him when you drove to the other side of the island to pick me up, or you bitching about me having dinner with Lynn for a whole week.”

“I have zero idea why I should have a problem with you having dinner with your girlfriend and I assure you I don't have a problem with that.” Danny tried to glare at him.

“By the way, she’s not my girlfriend. We just had dinner a few times. And that was the girls’ idea in order to get you jealous.” Steve shrugged lightly. "Girls, in the plural."

“Girls? And in the plural?”

“Kono and Gracie’s idea.”

“What did you teach my little girl??”

“Your little girl taught me how to get her dad back. That was not my fault. At least this time it was not my fault. So, what do you think about us?” Steve seemed to ask Danny lightheartedly, but in fact he was holding his breath and he was in fact a nervous wreck by now.

“Sorry, babe. But I can’t,” Danny whispered. Steve’s heart sunk, desperation setting in. Danny sensed that at once. “No. It’s not that. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for so long. I’m still in love with you now and even when I’m with Eliot. And I’m not proud of that. Maybe that was why I let that shit happen in the first place. But I commit myself when I enter a relationship. I can’t do this when I’m with someone else. It’s not fair for him, or for you. Sorry.”

“Danny, please. Don’t punish me for I’m slow on my feelings. Please,” Steve pleaded, his big eyes red with tears. "Please give me a chance to love you. Let me take care of you for the rest of our lives."

“I’m not punishing you. I can’t do this because you suddenly realized that you may love me or something may have changed after the thing in the shower. I’m trying to be faithful when I’m with someone. I can’t break up with him just because you told me you love me on a whim.”

“Danny, I love you. It’s not a whim.” Steve looked at him, his eyes glistening with tears. 

“I need to talk to him first. He can't just leave. He can’t make a unilateral decision for both of us. That’s not how a relationship works. If I start a new relationship, I need a closure to the last one.”

“Danny.”

“You need time to be sure too. You need to be ready. We don't just rush in and then find that we’re wrong about our feelings. Do you understand it means a long haul?”

“Yes. Danny. I am ready.” 

“One day, babe, one day.” Danny squeezed the hands which were holding his the whole time.

“Okay, Danny, I can wait.” For once, Steve didn't protest.

“You don’t have to.”

“I'm willing to. You are my life.”

*

The timing sucked like hell. He was trying to talk Danny into believing that it was terribly wrong that Danny had chosen McGarrett over him every time something no matter important or trivial happened and he had always thought about McGarrett first - which he did every time - and it was in fact Danny's fault that he become possessive and got a little carried away when they were having sex. 

But before he had enough time to make Danny convinced of that, Danny had gotten shot. Stupid McGarrett had gotten him shot - more precisely, Danny had jumped to take a bullet for McGarrett which was absolutely unacceptable! And he hadn't expected McGarrett found out their heated sex acts that soon. It had made him lose his upper hand. Damn it. And McGarrett had the audacity to come to him and picked a fight with him as if he had the right to intervene anything happened between him and Danny.

The old ways hadn't been working, so now was the time to change if he wanted to experience a different outcome with Danny. Trust Eliot wouldn't just give up and leave without a fight. Leaving the restaurant and the house they had lived in to Danny would guarantee that Danny wouldn't just let him disappear without having talked it out. He had left a message which said he'd felt he would never stand a chance against that kind of love Danny and Steve McGarrett shared. Even it was true, Danny would still feel guilty. He would definitely go to great lengths to try to locate him and come to him. He would make sure to mail presents to little Charlie every week to remind Danny of his guilt. He wouldn't leave a trail easy to track down which would only be suspicious. Yes, he had never been such a manipulative asshole before. But he couldn't bear the fact that McGarrett didn't have to do a single thing yet Danny would sacrifice his life for him. That kind of jealousy was worse than he had known. He was very bitter about the way he had been treated. The bile boiling in his gut would not let him just walk away and do nothing about it. 

He would wait and see if McGarrett would survive the torturing months during which he was sure that Danny was practically single but he still had no way to be with him. That he left without giving Danny a closure would make sure Danny wouldn't simply move on and start a new life with McGarrett. 

*

"This is not my home." Danny woke up in the car and found they parked at Steve's house.

"You said you were expecting me to wait on you hand and foot that time when I got ill. So here we are, mister. I'm all yours." Steve shrugged and grinned at Danny.

Danny chuckled, "okay, only this time. My servant."

"Yes, my master." Steve mimicked the medieval servant and gave Danny a goofy smile.

*

They got out of the car, and Steve rushed to Danny's side. Danny glared at him and said, "Don't even think about that, Steve! If you dare to carry me inside, I will punch you in the face! Believe me I'd rather not, since that's a good looking one and I'm a gentleman."

Steve's smile got wider at Danny's words. "You think I'm good looking, Danny?"

"As a goof, you're very pretty," Danny said teasingly.

Steve pouted at him and put on a wounded puppy face. But he gave up the idea of carrying Danny into the room and went to pick up the bags instead.

Danny beamed at him. It was almost a good day to Steve if Danny was not still recovering and did not wear bandages on his body.

*

"Do you need anything? Mister Danny?" Steve asked him after he helped him lie on the couch. 

"Beers would be good." Danny pulled the blanket up to his nose and looked at him expectantly.

"No beers. Until you get well," Steve answered firmly.

"Bad servant." Danny feigned annoyed but his eyes were smiling at Steve instead.

"I got my orders from miss Gracie, mister. Do you need me to call her and ask her if you are allowed to have beers?" Steve smirked and pulled out his phone waving it at Danny.

"Worst servant ever!" Danny mumbled to himself and hid under the blanket. "I want a new servant!" Muffled voice came from under the blanket.

"Sorry about that. But you are stuck with me, mister Danny." Steve sat beside him and stroked this Danny-shaped bundle gently. "How are you feeling Danny?"

"Still sore," Danny mumbled and didn't emerge from under the blanket.

"Maybe next time you shouldn't take the bullet for me."

"We've discussed it already. And I am the injured one here. I don't want to talk about it with you now or later. I want to take a nap."

"Take the pills and I'll leave you alone."

"Fine, fine. You are indeed the worst servant ever."

"I get Gracie to answer to."

"I don't love you two anymore. Kono's my favorite now."

Steve chuckled at this, pulled the blanket down a little, leaned in and landed a soft kiss on Danny's messed hair and then two on Danny's closed eyes.

*

"Why are you sleeping in my bed?" Danny asked groggily and could hardly open his eyes.

"This is my bed Danny." Steve tucked him in and answered nonchalantly.

"Ok, why am I sleeping in your bed with you next to me? Don't tell me Gracie asked you to sleep with her dad. If your answer is yes, I'll kill you." Danny glared at him through his heavy-lidded eyes. He looked younger and ingenuous which only made Steve want to pull him into his arms and cuddle up against him forever.

"Huh. I can neither confirm nor deny it." Steve sounded very innocent.

"We're going to talk about it tomorrow when my mind gets clear." Danny's words got slurred. He sounded very sleepy by now.

"Whatever you say, Danny." Steve placed a kiss on Danny's lips. It was soft and sweet. Danny didn't turn away and fell asleep almost at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One day, baby, one day" - Alex mentioned this in an interview that it was written by Scott on a photo of his which he gave Alex as a gift. Alex kept it in his trailer. 
> 
> Here's the interview.  
> http://alexoloughlinworldwide.com/new-paulyshores-interview-to-alexoloughlin-2/


	10. Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Eliot in this chapter.  
> Only what the two pining boys thought.  
> Danny made his mind up before he would have the face to face talk with Eliot.

Let me go  
You don't need me baby  
Stop holding on the way you are  
Don't you know I'm no good for you  
And it'll only break you heart  
If you don't  
Let me go

He said other than a dreamer  
I ain't nothing but a drifter  
You could do a lot better  
Then he leaned over and he kissed her

Lyrics of Let Me Go

 

These two months after Eliot left seemed not bad to Steve, at least it was much better than the few before them. Danny's wounds were healing while he lived in Steve's house and let Steve take care of him during his convalescence. He didn't mention Eliot even once which looked like a good sign. But Steve knew better than that. He had learnt long ago that although those strong emotions didn't last long, the sense of guilt was much persistent which could haunt a person forever. 

The bruises on Danny's body had disappeared. But Steve was not sure whether the deeply-seated self-punishment had stopped yet. Danny seemed fine to everyone except Steve, considering that he had just recovered from a several-hour surgery and some very serious gun wounds. To top it off, his boyfriend had left him without waiting for him to wake up. Steve didn't tell anyone about the bruises or the thing happened between them in the shower. All they knew was that Steve finally got his head out of his ass and had a fight with Danny's boyfriend, and then the said boyfriend left the island. Steve had sat beside Danny's hospital bed for days whimpering to Danny - a very terrifying sight to behold, given this sobbing guy was the ruthless and fearless leader of the elite 5O - and after Danny was discharged from hospital he took Danny home to care for him. Everyone thought these two finally got together. But in fact nobody truly understood Steve's dilemma now. Danny looked almost happy and content. But Steve could feel the invisible wall separating them.

That Eliot kept sending Charlie gifts. Every week Charlie would be thrilled at receiving something fancy. He would tell Danny in his gleeful voice and Danny would stroke his hair and play with him. But Danny looked sad and broody to Steve. It seemed Danny had been eaten up by the guilt he kept feeling.

Steve had never hated someone so much. Even after Eliot had left his island, he still had a way to hurt Danny. Not physically this time, but emotionally. Somehow he made sure that Danny couldn't simply move on from him, let alone start a new relationship with Steve.

In a way Steve couldn't say he didn't love his life now. He had never felt so relieved in his life after he told Danny he'd been in love with him. The fear which had been tied him down for a long time wasn't there anymore. The weight on his chest which made it hard to breathe was lifted either. He felt happy every day when he woke up knowing he would never be alone and he had Danny in his life. He didn't have those nightmares at night which had been haunting him for almost two decades in which he was left in this world alone by himself. But besides the heart to heart with Danny after he woke up, Steve hadn't found a right moment to have a serious conversation with Danny. The truth was that Danny seemed to try his best to avoid this kind of talk with him. He hadn't been overly friendly to Steve either. 

Steve didn't have any chance to be too intimate with Danny which only led to more erotic dreams for him. If he had been told before that he would dream about making out with the same man every night, he would probably snort in contempt. But now after he had felt Danny for real in the shower, his dreams became more realistic and made him more sexually frustrated during the day. It embarrassed him a lot. 

Of course he respected Danny's choice, and he was more than grateful that Danny chose to be here in his life, even not with him romantically. It occurred to him much later that what Danny had been through was in fact some kind of torture worse than the physical ones. Danny was suffering every day, while seeing Danny suffering made him feel the pain more sharply.

After Danny got well enough to take care of himself he moved back to his apartment. Steve was not happy about that, but at least Danny didn't live in Eliot's house which had become Danny's house now. The restaurant and the house left Danny no choice but to locate Eliot and have a talk with him face to face.

Steve didn't know which one was worse - having doubted and been in fear of what he felt for Danny for the last five years, or having come to accept his true feelings while having to see Danny being with another guy, or craving for Danny more for the last two months after he had tasted the sweetness of his lips or after had experienced a tiny fraction of what it would be like to have Danny in his life and live with him under the same roof as another kind of partner.

So it was not a surprise that he was half relieved when they finally got a dead on lead on Eliot's whereabouts. The other half of his mind was very upset about the idea that Danny would meet with that guy again. Though he understood the importance of a closure to Danny, he had apprehension of this ending badly. Eliot had been capable to hurt Danny without Steve even noticing it, and there was no doubt he was still the same manipulative jerk using Danny's guilt even now. Steve, with the very intention of keeping Danny company, could literally do nothing about it.

*

Danny told Steve he would go to talk with Eliot alone. He needed to do this alone. Whatever had happened between them should have had nothing to do with his relationship with Eliot. Before he had the chance to think it through, he had gotten shot and landed into hospital. When he woke up three days later, Eliot had already left with a letter in his house, telling him that he understood that kind of love between Danny and Steve would never die. Besides that, he had also left the restaurant and the house to Danny, which only made the whole situation more complicated. It would only muddle things further between them. 

Danny felt the Fates must hate him so much. The three sisters had just looked on and done nothing when he pined for Steve and watched in despair as Steve was strung along and abandoned by Catherine over and over. Then they brought Eliot to him and he was even thinking about settling down with him. The Fates must have been convinced somehow that Danny's life wasn't dramatic enough so they decided that was the perfect time for Steve to feel like being in love with him. He was not sure about Steve's feelings even now. He knew his partner cared for him and loved him in a way. He just couldn't believe he actually had been in love with him as he told him. He just couldn't dare to hope this man he loved deeply for years loved him the same way. 

And after several times he bailed on Eliot only to rush to Steve's rescue, both literally and figuratively, Eliot had become more possessive and a little bit more into violent sex which had been caught out by Steve later in a shower and that led to another thing which only made Danny more ashamed of. Danny was really guilty about putting Steve above everything else and choosing him over his boyfriend every damn time. But the next time when something happened, without even realizing it Danny made the same decision again. It may have exasperated Eliot a lot. Every boyfriend would have been exasperated by this kind of behaviors. During the last week when they were together, Danny really thought it were him and his behaviors that caused Eliot to get compelled to mark Danny as his. As a grown man being marked by another man even his boyfriend was appalling him. But as a not so committed boyfriend, he felt part of this was his fault.

To sum it up, Danny had no idea what he had done that pissed the Fates so much, they'd love to meddle with his life in the worst way. Danny's life was doomed and gloomy. 

Steve had been the one he'd been in love with for so many years. He hadn't the heart to blame him for anything - even the ones which were Steve's fault for sure - let along those Danny was responsible for either. It was not that Danny had never thought about them having sex. He had fantasized about this man for so many times that he had lost count long ago. But he'd never thought of doing this kind of thing when he was with someone else. 

Like he said, the Fates hated him. Now he had a nonexistent break-up thing to take care of while he had a overprotective and affectionate partner who wanted to be his partner in life. 

*

During the long hours flying back to mainland, Danny's mind was occupied by the events that had happened in the last few months. He didn't want to lose Steve, whether as a partner or as a friend. But somehow they screwed it up and ended up in a couples' therapy. What kind of an irony it was! If only they were a couple like everyone on this pineapple-infested island thought they were. And when he decided to move on from Steve and started a new life with someone else, he screwed it up again. Because he just couldn't forget about that damn stupid hot SEAL plus his love of life. No one besides his kids could drag him into these stupid crazy situations like Steve kept doing. It was just like if Steve asked him to jump, he would just do it without asking him how high it was or what was below it. He had been bitching about everything Steve did and nagging him to no end, but he still followed him into every kind of dangerous places without a single doubt that Steve would put him in danger wittingly. He trusted this crazy man completely and he loved this man crazily. Not a surprise that none of his relationships had ever worked out. 

He had no idea what he would do now, and which decision was right. Should he apologize to Eliot, give the restaurant and the house back, end the thing forever or should he just plead Eliot to take back what he wrote in that letter and start over with him again? 

Meanwhile Steve was waiting for him at home. Oh, God! He called that island home now! Since when home was where Steve was? He was so screwed. He bet Steve was agitated and pretended everything was ok. Danny couldn't stop the smile stretching over his face when he thought about the way Steve acted like nothing happened but in fact that man was a nervous wreck inside. He could not remember since when the two of them knew each other so well that they didn't need a word to talk with each other, that they didn't need to see each other to know what the other would do next. It had become an instinct for them. They had become a part of each other. In a stupid way to describe this, they somehow assimilated each other and became one. 

"I really need to stop leafing through those sci-fics or vampire fictions Gracie is reading." Danny thought to himself before he finally dozed off. 

*

After landing, Danny had made his mind. He had seen the way Steve looked at him these days. He believed too that kind of love wouldn't die. Just look at him! If it could die easily, Danny wouldn't have been suffering all these years. He wanted to take the risk for them. The risk that Steve told him that day that Steve would love to take for him because it was worth it. It was always worth it to Danny. He had given Steve his heart without thinking twice about it. He hadn't even thought about taking it back - even if it was possible to do so, which of course in no way it would happen - when Steve hadn't realized that he had Danny's heart at all and didn't bother to cherish it. So why on earth would they not have a better chance this time since both of them were on board with it? He needed to end this thing with Eliot, apologized to him sincerely and earnestly, and come back to Steve to tell him that he got with the program and yes he'd love to be with Steve for the term of his natural life, and Steve had better make sure not to get him killed too soon. 

Danny finally found peace of mind.


	11. Happy Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve met with Danny's family, though it was actually not what he planned. He just couldn't wait for Danny at home and he decided to follow Danny home. 
> 
> Danny talked with Eliot.  
> Danny thought they were done. Did Eliot think so?

Well throw me under the train,  
Tie me down to the track,  
Let them big ole' wheels roll right over my back,  
I'll have a smile on my face  
All the way to the promise land.

Well toss me out of the plane,  
Watch me fall to the ground,  
No I don't care  
If my body ever gets found,  
The way you're lovin' me baby,  
I can die a happy man.

Now that I've tasted all your squeezin' and a touchin'  
Baby there ain't nothing I'd miss.  
There ain't no reason now for me to go on living  
Only heaven could be better than this.

Lyrics of Happy Man

 

Three days had passed and Steve hadn’t heard from Danny. No phone call, no message. He told himself to calm down, not to panic. But it was no part of his disposition. Patience had never been his strong forte. Acting after making up his mind was what he always did. So he just hopped onto the first flight to Newark he could book a ticket for and went to Danny’s home state.

Yes, guess what. Of all the places in the world, Eliot chose to hide from his ex-boyfriend in this said person’s home state. The discomposure of spirits in which Steve was thrown by his overactive imagination could not be easily overcome. He thought about all kinds of possibilities. He thought of Danny visiting his parents and forgetting to call him. He thought of Danny choosing Eliot over him and turning him down in this kind of subtle way to save him from the embarrassment. He kept thinking for hours on the plane while he was coming nearer and nearer to Danny and his destiny.

When he finally stood in the doorway of Danny’s parents’, he was no better composed than he had been back home. He hadn’t prepared himself for what he would be faced with. So he decided just to suck it up and take it like a man. He tapped on the door and an old pleasant woman came to open it. He got so wrought-up, his mind had completely blanked out; he opened his mouth, trying to remember how to greet people. He knew he must have looked like the biggest idiot in the world. Thankfully this nice old lady saved him from his misery. “You must be Steve. Come on in. Such a surprise. We are not expecting you.” She stepped back a little bit to let him in.

Steve stammered, “Yeah. Yes. Ma’am.”

A blond young woman who looked like Danny very much popped up in the corridor. She froze for a second, took a great look at him and said, “You are really hot. Danny forgot to mention this.” Then she turned her head towards the living room and called out, “Danny! Your hot boyfriend followed you here from Hawaii.”

Steve gaped at this. Ms. Williams patted him lightly, smiling at him. “Ignore her. She’s Ann, my youngest. She’s just messing with you. Daniel is in the living room.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Steve managed to get those words out before he entered the living room which was bathed in soft, warm sunlight. And he caught sight of his Danny, a bundle of misery actually, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, sitting all bunched up on the couch, his face pale, and he was coughing and sniffling. Danny seemed rather surprised to see him standing in his parents’ living room. He blinked at him, sniffled woefully and said, “Why are you here? I hate you. I don’t want to talk to you. You and your stupid island! I got a cold in my home state! Can you believe it?” Danny kept bitching about every single thing Steve may have done only to make him suffer.

Steve was relieved to hear Danny yelling at him. He had learnt it years ago - right after he made Danny his partner - that a ranting Danny equalled a peaceful Danny. This had always meant that Danny was not really mad or things were not seriously wrong. “So this is why you didn’t call me. Danny? You worried me to death.” Steve sat beside him and handed him the paper tissues.

“You gave me a heart attack on a regular basis,” Danny croaked.

“You two are indeed an old married couple,” Ann teased, unfazed by Danny’s death glare. Danny turned his head to Steve and grumbled, “This is all your fault!” Steve stared at him in confusion, but the happiness he felt at seeing Danny overcame it rather quickly. He gave Danny his goofy smile and nodded. “Okay. My fault.”

“Don’t take it personally. It’s kinda a Williams thing.” Ms. Williams smiled at Steve and told him. “They become very obnoxious when they get ill. And Daniel is really upset this time, since he feels embarrassed that he got a cold in New Jersey.” She gave her son an amused look, and asked Steve warmly, “What would you like, coffee or tea?”

Steve shook his head. “Oh, don’t go to any trouble—” Before he finished it, Danny chimed in after he sneezed into a tissue, “Tea. He doesn’t drink coffee. He’s a freak.”

“Tea would be fine. Thank you so much Ms. Williams,” Steve replied demurely and he noticed that Ann was sitting on the stool beside the kitchen counter dangling her feet like a child and staring at them curiously.

“Call me Drew, if you like.” Drew beamed at him. “We heard about you a lot during these three days.”

“Ma!!!” Danny protested.

“Then why didn’t you call me?” Steve turned to Danny, who looked like blushing right now.

“I told you I hate you and don’t want to talk with you. Besides that, I have to sleep all three days. And that’s why I hate you so much!” Danny growled, but Steve found the annoyed Danny very cute in a way.

“Huh. How’s - how's that thing going?” Steve got flustered.

“What thing?” Danny cut his a teasing look.

“You and Eliot.”

“Do I look like someone having a boyfriend now?” Danny teased him, looked like enamored and amused by Steve at the same time.

“You do, Danny. Your boyfriend is sitting beside you after he followed you the whole way from Hawaii,” Ann interjected in jest, and Steve just beamed with pure happiness, quite delighted in Ann’s words. He smiled at her gratefully.

“Go away! Entertain yourself.” Danny threatened to throw a box of tissue at her and asked, “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Nope. I’m an artist. I work at home. And I decide I don’t have anything to do today.” His sister smiled at him wickedly.

“Don’t you have any man to woo?” Danny started giving her the evil eye.

“Nope. Since you've bagged the hottest one, I’m content with sitting here and watching you two make out.” Ann paused a little and replied playfully with a smile.

“Don’t tease your brother.” It looked like Drew was chiding her, but in fact they were smiling together conspiratorially. She handed Steve a mug of steaming tea and looked at him fondly. Steve blushed to the tips of his ears at their bantering.

“Talking about the drama queen, Danny. You flied all the way here to break up with a hot guy. And then your real Prince Charming followed you here. You’ll never have the right to laugh at my love life again.” Ann laughed unrepentantly. Steve raised his brow. “Prince Charming?”

“That’s how we call you. Sometimes it's just Danny’s super SEAL or Danny's mysterious boyfriend. In fact we have heard about you for all five years. Gracie filled in on the details too. I’m rather perplexed that we didn’t meet you until today.” Ann waved her hands to make a point. Steve marveled at how much the Williams siblings looked alike.

“So you are done with him? I’m your boyfriend now?” Steve turned his head to Danny and asked carefully.

“Yes, Eliot and I are done. We pulled the plug on our relationship.” Danny rolled his eyes at him, and added, “And no, I’m single now.”

Ann dropped on the couch beside Steve and asked her brother jestingly, “Isn’t your boyfriend right here, sitting between us?” She cocked her head and raised her brow at Danny challengingly.

Danny tried to sit up straighter and grabbed at her, but he was weak from the illness and the persistent cough, so before he could touch Ann, he fell on Steve’s lap. Steve caught him by his shoulders and told him in mock stern voice, “Danny! You are still unwell. You need rest.” Ann laughed so hard that she almost choked on her own spit while watching Steve pull the blanket tightly around Danny.

“Ann, don’t forget I will get well really soon. Wait for my revenge.” Danny rested his body against Steve's chest and glared at his sister warningly.

Ann just laughed at him loudly, then she poked at Steve and asked him sweetly, “Super SEAL, I give you my big brother. How about you protecting me from his revenge?”

“Sounds like a reasonable deal. I’ll take it,” Steve answered solemnly before both of them bursted out laughing together.

“Ann, you just married your brother off.” Drew beamed at her kids and Steve dotingly.

“Ma, I just do you and pa a big favor. Just ask Steve to take your son and never return him. Steve, we don’t take him back. There isn't a returns policy.” Her face was a picture of innocence, as if she was just doing her job and doing it well.

“I - I’ll never let him go.” Steve's heart fluttered with nervousness and he flushed intensely. He held Danny’s hand tightly. He had never thought he’d met Danny’s family in such an unusual way. “God! Steve! This wicked little one is messing with us! She is laughing loudly in her mind at my expense. How do you even play along?” Danny threw up his free arm from under the blanket and tried to argue with his sister, but he coughed violently. “Easy, easy.” Steve wrapped one of his arms around his shoulders to hold him still and stroked his chest with the other hand lightly giving his partner comfort. “Are you all right? Do we need to go see a doctor?” His brows furrowed and his voice was full with concern.

“Don’t worry. Cynthia said he just had a cold and a cough. She’s the first girl in the family and she’s a doctor,” Ann said. “You will bring a healthy and happy Danny back home with you. I promise.”

“Ann, cut the boys some slack. Go find Steve some clean sheet and duvet and put him up in Danny’s room. It’s still winter in New Jersey. Don’t let this guy catch a cold like our stupid boy right there.” Drew shooed Ann away and turned to Steve and the still coughing Danny who really wanted to protest at his mother’s comment.

“That’s very considerate of you. I could book a hotel room—" Steve didn’t want to be imposing upon their hospitality, but his words were cut off by Drew.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You stay here until you two fly back to Hawaii. End of the discussion. I’m going to make the dinner. You look like needing some real nice meals. I’ll leave you two alone. And Daniel, take your pills.” Drew nodded at them and left the living room.

*

“So…” Steve said.

“Really articulate,” Danny said between the fits of cough. “You came all the way here and was on a plane for ten hours just to say this one word to me? You know, you could wait for me to come back and say that.” A touch of a smile shaped Danny’s lips.

“I wanted to call you. I missed you badly. But I thought it was better to wait for your call,” Steve sighed. “And after three days without any words from you, I just got panicked.”

Danny put his hand on Steve’s thigh. He looked at Steve, his lips curled with complete happiness. “Sorry, babe. Just got wiped out and caught a cold in Jersey. It caught me off guard. I think I get used to the weather on that stupid rock.” Steve couldn’t help but smile at this. “Let’s just save the details of the talk with Eliot to our flight back. But yes, it’s over. Eliot and I are done. Now you could just relax and let my ma feed you and my sisters harass you. I'm sure they're determined to do so. I’ll remain on the sidelines.” Danny smirked a little and then he jabbed Steve at his chest. “Steve! Just stop grinning like an idiot.”

“Never expected to meet with your family like this,” Steve mumbled and still had that goofy smile on his face.

“What did you expect?” Danny looked at him amusedly.

“Throw me out of the house? Kick my ass for that I stole their son away?”

“Their son is sitting right here. But they may want to strangle you for you getting their son shot at frequently.” Danny smiled at him teasingly, taking great delight in vexing him but Steve couldn’t do anything else but smile back at him.

They locked their eyes, and saw the expression of heartfelt delight on the other one’s face as well as in their eyes. They could feel their mutual feelings and affections. They saw the proof of what importance they were to the other. Steve reached out and pulled Danny into his arms and Danny gave himself over to that embrace.

“I love you Danny. I’ll always love you,” Steve murmured to Danny, burying his face into the blond's hair, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his partner.

"Always is a long time," Danny said against his neck. "You might come to regret this promise one day.”

"I believe you are the one who got the bad deal, Danny." Steve's voice was very serious. "I'm lucky to have you by my side to stop me from doing stupid things."

"Well, I take that job very seriously." Danny chuckled.

"You're stuck with me." Steve planted a kiss on Danny’s head. “I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

"I think I can handle this.” Danny felt his mouth spreading into a smile, seemed on the verge of kissing him on the lips when he thought the better of it, wisely. “Don’t even think about kissing me. I got a cold and I’m coughing.” Danny pushed Steve away and rested a hand on Steve’s mouth firmly.

Steve gave him his goofy smile which he knew Danny loved the most and couldn’t resist. “It’s not contagious. Don’t worry Danny.” He leaned in, pulled down Danny’s hand and landed his lips against Danny’s. He kissed Danny sweetly, for the first time as a boyfriend.

“Danny. I love you.”

“Love you too, babe.”

"So, when's the wedding?" Ann appeared in the living room and asked them suddenly.

They were startled and turned their heads to her. "What?" Danny cried out.

"Just asking." Ann shrugged nonchalantly and waved her phone at him. "Gracie asked me to tell you she wants to be the flower girl."

Danny was stumped for words for the first time in his life. "I - I haven't popped the question yet," Steve stammered bashfully.

"Ask him now," Ann said placidly.

Steve turned his head to face Danny and found that Danny froze in a stupid way. Dumbfounded was a good look for his partner, Steve thought.

"Just do it."

"Huh, Danny, will you marry me?"

"Are you kidding me? Are you touched in the head? Why do you even listen to her? You've never listened to me when I asked you to do something." Danny spluttered and had a disbelieving look on his face.

"Because I have a point?" Ann didn't even bother to check her laugh.

"She has a point. Danny, please. Will you marry me?" Steve asked him imploringly, with his serious tone and the bright, expectant look in his eyes and the tentative smile hovering around his mouth.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I'm doing this. But, fine. Yes. Yes. I'll marry you Neanderthal! Ok, happy now?" After seeing Steve nod to him with that shit-eating grin on his face, Danny flicked his eyes up to see his sister. "And you? Happy now?"

She smirked at him and handed him her phone. "Gracie is waiting for you. Call her back. Oh, her words were, 'these two always go all out for each other. So ask Danno to take their time and call me back when these two cute saps finish being emotional.' Smartest kid ever!" Then she swaggered towards the kitchen and they heard her cheerful and triumphant voice. "Ma, I just married your son off!"

"Oh, God. My little girl has a hand in it!" Danny groaned. He closed his eyes for a while, then he opened them and looked Steve in his eyes. "Are you serious? No kidding?"

Steve did his "Why don't you believe me, I'm wounded" face, and looked at Danny. "I want to marry you. For real. I want us to be a real married couple and then an old married couple like when we are 90." Danny could see Steve was in earnest and his heart swelled at this.

"You are gonna be the death of me!" Danny pulled him down and brought their lips together for a sweet kiss. "One more thing, where's the ring for me?"

The look on Steve's face was just priceless as he opened and shut his mouth several times, looking both restless and embarrassed. He looked like a little boy who did something terribly wrong and was caught out and was sure he would be punished for it. He looked like a scared little boy.

Danny didn't have the heart to mess with this man any more. "Babe, I was teasing. There's no way you'd know you'd propose to me! Babe, where are you going?" "Wait a sec Danno. I have a perfect one."

"What the hell! Why do you keep a grenade clip in your wallet? Scratch that, why do you have a wallet and I have to take the check every time?" Danny stared at the clip on his finger for a while and flicked his eyes up to look at his partner in a mock fury. Steve stared at Danny with his big puppy eyes as if he was saying, "are you sure Danny? You think my wallet is the point here?" Danny bit his lower lip to stifle a laugh and resisted the urge to rub Steve's adorable face in the same way he would do a cute little puppy.

"That was from the last one you handed me when we... Uh, we got my house infested with bullet holes." Steve looked flustered, "I keep that in my wallet to ... Uh, remind me Danno's always right." He rubbed the back of his neck while looking at Danny sheepishly and boyishly.

"That's a development for you to admit Danno's always right. But, you made this part up, right? You just want to keep something to remind you of my super charming personality." Danny chuckled and gave him a big smile, the kind of which always brought the crinkles to the edges of his eyes. Steve looked at him grinning like a goof as if he was mesmerized by Danny's smile. He knew he would say yes to anything Danny said just to put that smile on his partner's face.

*

As the previous nights Danny was asked to go to bed early. He didn’t expect Steve to join him soon. He was having a nice talk with his parents - a little terrifying sight for Danny, since he had never known that his parents were this talkative and would be friendly towards one person who was practically a stranger this morning to them - and discussing something with Ann. It looked very suspicious. And he thought he heard they say they’d set up FaceTime and talk with Gracie online. They were definitely up to something. But it was too difficult for Danny’s addled head to figure it out. Illness plus pills made Danny slow on their game. He’d find it out. Danny yawned and went to bed alone.

As sleep threatened to close over him, he felt his bed dipped below someone's weight, then this certain someone slipped under his duvet and snuggled up against his side. “Steve, as much as I love you, I don’t want our first time to be in my parents’ house,” Danny said sleepily.

“What are you talking about? I’m just cuddling you.” Steve scooted closer to Danny and buried his face in Danny’s hair, smiling into it. "It's warmer this way."

Danny rolled his eyes in the darkness and grinned. Sleep had nudged him. He took Steve’s arm and pulled it across his chest. He planted a soft kiss on Steve's hand and said, "Good night babe."

*

On the Flight back to Hawaii

“Yes, we sorta parted from each other in good humor. It was not a big drama. We talked a lot. Unfortunately, I was already ill with a cold by then without realizing it. So I may look pretty wrecked. That may help.”

Steve was silent for a few minute. Then he turned to Danny again, and said in the gentlest voice, “Danny, I have feared so much that you may have a second thought and decide to choose him over me.” He held Danny’s hand, thumbing it softly. “You have no idea how I was engulfed by this gnawing fear. You know, I can’t picture a future without you in it.”

“Babe, believe me. I understand. I have been pining for you for those five years. Even my whole family knew it. How could I not understand the fear of losing someone you love to someone else? It hurt like hell. But don't forget I love you, babe.”

“We are the biggest idiots, right? We have wasted so many years for nothing but the pathetic fear we had at heart.” Steve sighed and pulled Danny closer. “I just want to grow old with you and be laughed at by our grandchildren when we are 90-year-old.”

“First of all, you need to keep us alive. And second, why are we laughed at by them?” Danny pulled his head back a little in order to look up at Steve’s face.

Steve looked almost embarrassed. “They’ll know all the stories about us. Don’t you think they’ll feel they have a couple of silly grandpas?”

*

The Day Danny Landed in New Jersey

Danny walked into the bar, scanned the place for the man he was looking for. He spotted the familiar body in a corner toying with a glass cup of alcohol. He walked towards him and slipped into the booth. "Eliot."

Eliot was startled out of his thoughts. "Danny, why are you here? What's wrong? Everything ok?" He sounded concerned which made Danny more upset about his decision. “Nothing bad happened, right?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I woke up in hospital and you’d already left. And you left the restaurant and the house to me. I can’t take them.”

“Just keep them,” Eliot said in earnest. “You know I care about you, no matter what happened between us. I’m not going to bribe you into something or be venomous here. It’s just… Danny, you understand that you’re taking more risk here than he is, right? He’s the leader of your team. If, I mean if, anything goes wrong between you two, you would be the one who has to leave, not him. And you are the one who has two kids to think about. I sincerely hope that day will never come. But I worry for you, ok? So just keep them. If anything happens, at least you have something to provide for your kids. Take them as a safety net. You don’t need to do anything, just keep them to be prepared for the worst, even it won’t happen.”

“Eliot… I don’t know.” Danny didn’t know how to describe his feelings now. He knew that what Eliot said was true, there would be a chance him and Steve wouldn’t work out. And he was right Steve was the leader, when push came to shove, he would be the one who had to leave. Danny may had all negative thinking, it was only because he always understood sometimes bad things happened.

“I know you want to have nothing to do with me. You can’t stand the sight of me now. I’m sorry for what I did or what pain I caused you. I love you Danny and I will always love you. So just please let me do the last thing I can do for you. Please?” He looked at Danny earnestly. Danny didn’t know what to make of it. He hadn’t notice Eliot had this side to him.

Danny, still affected by his words, was solemn in his reply. “Eliot, that’s not true. I never said I want to have nothing with you. You are always my friend. I’m responsible for this whole mess too. I shouldn’t have started a serious relationship when I was not over someone completely. I’m really sorry. Please believe me when I say I really wanted to settle down with you. But I just can’t let it go and the fact that I’ve hung up on him seems almost pathetic to me. But it is my fault, Eliot. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Then just keep the restaurant and the house. I’ll ask the lawyer to take care of them. You don’t need to do anything. I know you were brought up to be responsible. The income of the restaurant won’t go into your personal account. You just have the access to it. And I won’t be on the rock like I was. So do me a favor, and keep an eye on the house. I don’t want it to be washed away by a tsunami or become run-down because of neglect.”

“I don’t know. I need to think about it.”

“Take your time, Danny. We are not in a rush,” Eliot said patiently. “What’s going on with you and your Commander? You get together?”

“Not yet. I… When we come together one day, we have to do so with all the baggage from our past, our families, our entire history. The thing between me and McGarrett is beyond complicated. But I’d love to take the chance.” Danny answered honestly.

“You are always the one who devotes everything to and invests so much in the relationship. He doesn’t realize how lucky he has you. He’d better to do more for you. And never do such a thing like bringing a woman to his home on Valentine’s Day and spending the whole night together when he was sure and claimed that he’d been in love with you. You deserve a loving and devoted partner.” Eliot smirked coldly in his mind. McGarrett, this is not my fault you did such a thing and I happened to know it.

“What? This Valentine’s Day? Uh, he was single then. He could do everything he wanted.” Danny smiled sadly. “He’s always an honorable man. Don’t worry for me. It was not that he held out on that on purpose, we were not a couple, he didn’t need to tell me. It's not like he was cheating on me. He's a single grown man. He could do everything he likes.” Danny spluttered in reply.

“I really hope he appreciates how great you are.” Eliot patted him in a friendly way and asked in concern, “Danny, you look pale. How are you feeling now?”

“I… I don’t feel well. I think I may catch a cold in Jersey. How ridiculous!”

“You do feel a little warm.” Eliot felt his forehead and said, “Do you need me drive you to a hospital? It may get worse. It’s cold these days. You don’t wear enough.”

“That’s… Very nice of you. I’ll take a cab. It’s not that bad, really. I’ll sleep it off.” Danny paused for a sec before he continued, “I’ll think about the restaurant and the house. Thank you for everything. And sorry.” Danny stood up and left, thinking about how to let a lawyer deal with the restaurant and the house and give them back to Eliot. But that guy had a point. Danny's face scrunched up in pain. Physically and emotionally exhausted. Danny sighed into the chill air of his home town.

Eliot couldn’t tear his eyes from the retreating back of Danny, murmuring to himself, “We are far from being done Danny.” He held up the tumbler and smiled coldly. “We’ll see each other sooner than you’d like.”

*

On the Flight back to Hawaii

“One more question.” Danny tilted his head a little with a small smirk on his face. “How was your date on Valentine’s Day going? I heard that night was fantastic.”

“What? How?” Steve stammered. “How did you know about it?”

“Did you have a nice night? Enjoyed yourself?” Danny said lightheartedly, “I really hope you didn’t keep Catherine’s things on those too obvious places. It would offend any lady. Especially those things in your bedroom.”

“I… I didn’t… We… Nothing happened, Danny!” Steve grabbed Danny’s arm and pulled him closer. “Nothing happened between us. In fact it was a very humiliating night. For me, of course.”

Danny frowned and waited for Steve to go on.

“I… I COULDN’T DO IT WITH HER.” Steve gritted his teeth. Danny almost choked on the water he was drinking.

“I couldn’t do it because your face and your body and your stupid blond hair just kept showing up in my mind,” Steve said, grinding his teeth. “All I could think of was how it would be like having you on my bed. So I JUST COULDN’T FUNKING DO IT!! Are you happy now, Danny?”

Danny couldn’t help laughing so hard. Water threatened to come up his nose.

“Laugh as you like, Danno,” Steve said darkly. “But keep this in your mind that you owe me several rounds of mind-blowing sex.”

“Several? What are you? 15?”

“Yeah. Several. We can do it after we land.” Steve smiled at him innocently. “Better get it done sooner. Then we call it even and move on with our new relationship and have more rounds.”

“It’s very big of you. How generous!” Danny mocked to be grateful and waved his finger at Steve’s face, “You giant goof! I have no idea why I put up with you! Why!! Don’t even think about it. I need rest. I’ll sleep for three days after I get my home and drop on my bed.”

“My bed is bigger and more comfortable. Danno.” Steve used a stupidly cute voice to implore him. And with his stupid big puppy eyes. “Oh, God,” Danny thought, “How can I resist these?” Danny knew he was helpless against that look, those eyes and that voice. He was helpless against that stupid SEAL.

*

"Danny, you are back!" Kono greeted him excitedly. "Boss said you got a cold in Jersey. How are you feeling now?"

"You big goof! You said you won't tell anybody!" Danny leveled a finger at Steve's nose and his voice rose dangerously. "Oh, God! I'll never live it down, will I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Er, I may need another chapter. For their wedding? For the strictly-defined first time? 
> 
> BTW, I'm working on Amnesia II. So you can treat this chapter as the ending if you like. Or you can wait for me to post a new chapter on a whim.
> 
> Love you guys!!  
> Thanks for your support. <33333


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